How old are the boys? Can you get some help taking care of them? A relative of hers or yours?
Maybe a friend? A church? Talk to a therapist maybe about the situation and your feelings.

I'm solo on this one for now. I don't work due to my Fibro so I'm able to pace myself throughout the day.

Dude you need to have a good think about this situation. it's one thing to miss someone you love, it's another to enable an abuser to screw up her kids for life.

sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind. Enabling her to be an abuser is a moral crime.

I hear you bridgie and have been thinking about that a lot. Social Services are heavily involved right now however and won't let my partner have direct contact with her sons. This has really screwed my head up. The Social Worker I met on Friday after she spoke to the boys told me how the youngest told her he doesn't know his own Mother anymore. To me, she's been consumed by Alcoholism and mental illness, she needs help not punishing and I'd never forgive myself if by pressing charges, she ended up in prison.

I'm sorry she's mentally ill and an alcoholic and you are sick yourself and taking care of the kids. That's a lot to deal with. Abuse to you or the kids is not ok and has no good excuse. All the more reason action is needed. You can get a home health aide to help with the kids to some extent and the chores.

Both my parents are mentally ill and abusive. 10 years ago iI got a temporary pfa on my dad. You can bet if the threats became physical to me, I would press charges.

Having a mental illness is not a free pass to be abusive. Not every mentally ill person is abusive. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety since I was a teen. Never hurt anyone. I know lots of people with it who never hurt a soul. She still chooses to hit you and yell at you. She needs to be held accountable. If she can't be held accountable because of her mental state, she would need to be hospitalized and would get treatment there.

If she refuses treatment, I'd press charges. Give her those 2 choices. Have the social worker give her the choice. If she refuses help and you don't press charges, it will happen again. Always does.
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Domestic violence is never acceptable and it never gets better unless the abuser is held accountable for their actions. I agree with soulsearcher. If she goes to court, the judge may order her to get alcohol counseling and may recommend a mental health evaluation. If she doesn't get help, she will return home only to continue her abuse putting you and her children at risk. Sorry that this is happening to you and her sons, but please don't continue to enable her.

Domestic violence is a very difficult thing to fight. Sadly you are in a situation to give a go/no go decision to start addressing it.

Her children are witness to violence. If their mother is not stopped there is a very real chance that they will see violence as a valid method to control a relationship. Sadly this can lead them either to use violence in their relationships, or to submit to violence in relationships. Neither is part of a healthy relationship.

Please press charges. You can ask the authorities to give her a chance to address her alcohol use and her anger management problems, but she needs to know that it is not just you and her children telling her. She needs to know that there is the force of the law behind things as well.

Gentle hugs, this will not be easy.

Thank-you all for your replies