Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have nothing in me that wants to live, except my kids, when you think of your kids faces, and break down, and know they will get so much support from you, and yet you wanted the whole thing, the loving family, the loving wife, I realize I made mistakes, I also know why I did what I did, only now though, I wanted to feel loved, wanted, clung to, grabbed and held, some people are not like this affectionate wise and when they are can't be for long, I can't take not having physical love and contact from the person I love, and I try to make it come to me as I am starving, it is all but gone lately, and I have no dependency on anyone but me, I am not one that can survive this way, I am trying, and my kids keep me alive more than anyone would ever know, I can't have them growing up knowing I did something stupid, and yet I can't fucking live either, I am so tired, so weary, so wanting of love and attention, it almost makes me finish this off and be loved elsewhere, but, when you make that mistake already, and realize you love your spouse more than you ever could another, my God you are dead inside when the love is gone, my loss is tremendous, is life changing and life threatening for me, I have upped life insurance next week, I know how much ssi they would get, I am licensed to carry and count fucking poles and look at headlights sometimes like they might come to my lane, even hurt and in the hospital I would be sedated and get a fucking rest for my brain, I can't hardly smile, yesterday I found a couple old xanax and took one and for the first time was able to enjoy a meal in a long time, thinking about the taste, about how I wanted more as it was good, versus the mind somewhere else and just existing, I go to the doc today, counting the hours, if I can't get help fast I am done, I don't need harsh comments, if you have them, leave and don't read, I don't need stroking either, I am just one that is done with life and ready to move to something else, and have 2 sweet beautiful kids that I do everything for money wise and they need me, I am only here for them period, my oldest and wife would be fine as hard as they are without me.
Don't do that to your children. Your life can get better you just need to take it one day at a time. You might think you have it rough now but it can always get better. There is too much senseless death in the world. Why add to it? I am 27 now an emotional wreck alone broke and in terrible pain, part of being the way
I am is because my dad chose suicide when I was 13. Whatever else you may be feeling please understand what your death will do to your children. I'll say a prayer for you please don't deprive your children of you as a child of someone who did kill themselves it does terrible damage. Your life will get better just hang tough for now.