I feel much like this right now. I now I need a time of strength to step out of the flow and follow directions that I know I need to walk.

Gentle hugs

Hugs back. It is a very frightening and scary feeling.

Not even your therapist understands you? Take some hope from someone else who cares and set your mind to never give up.

I have a wonderful therapist but she can only see me every so often. She's a part time therapist and part time college professor.

My story (what got me to this point) is long and convoluted. It's why I feel so alone.

Can you share an abbreviated part of your story?

Maybe you could start writing your story in your journal.

So sorry you are going thru this alone. I don't know if anyone really understands. It is hard putting on a face when you are hurting inside.
I ask God to help me make a difference in someone else's life today. That is what keeps me going. May He touch your heart and feel the love around you.

Thank you for the journal idea. I am just learning how to use these forums.

I posted my story earlier today under"Just want to stay in bed and sleep forever", however, it was a bit lengthy and I should have used paragraphs!

I was typing when you posted. Thank you @ wanttocry. I just want to be well again for my children. I have guilt for the pain I've put them through even though it's not intended.

I did read your other post too. It sounds like you've been through hell. No wonder you feel so tired. Just the getting off the prescriptions will make you feel that way. I recently quit Xanax that I was taking twice daily for the last two years and it left an empty hole that can't be filled feeling inside. That's probably some of what you're feeling too.

Yes, I think so, too. Everyone that truly cares for me, wanted me off that drug but I did feel much better whIle on it. Vtge problem is they lose theur efficacy the longer you take them for some people, and you need more and more and can only take so much. Benzos should not be for long term use is what I've learned in general. Now my life is misery and my insides are a mess.

Feeling isolated and like you aren't understood is probably symptom 1 of depression. It's really strong. When you overcome the depression you find you no longer need to be understood. You no longer care.

It's very stockholm syndromey I personally think. Depression makes a person into an omega-person, like an abused dog; supplicant and submissive, bottom of the status pile in your own eyes and because of your behaviour, eventually in other people's eyes too. Prepared to do anything to fit in. Listening to other people's opinions over your own, deferring to others when you know better than them... More aware of other people's feelings than one's own. It took up the biggest part of my life, this stockholm syndrome. But now I'm through the worst, i like to think.

I wouldn't give it 7 1/2 months. That's chickenfeed. I think it takes about 3 years. So buckle your belt and get ready for another 2 1/2 yrs.

Tend to think it's a worthwhile investment though: 3 yrs misery for a lifetime of... comfort. Calm. Self assurance. Relaxation.

Definitely worth the investment. But you do have work to do. You have to find out why you feel this way. You have to ask yourself questions about your medication, your work environment, your home, your counsellor. You have to look at everything, carefully turn it over, check for mould and spots. Without wrecking anything that is worth protecting, and sometimes you can't tell with depression.

That's why it takes so long. You have to run experiments, be patient, investigate. You have to be scientific about looking into your life and hunting around for possible solutions and possible causes.

You don't get a cure on a plate. :) It's hard work. :) Hang on in there sunshine, the ride's only just begun.

Wow, at this point, I can't imagine it taking that long, and I need to get better for my youngest special needs daughter. She needs a healthy, happy mom. Thank you for your words of wisdom.

What I do is make a list every day on my phone that I can follow and check off or I get lost and lose days, months, and years. It really does help if you make yourself try to at least do what's all the list.

Please know that you are not alone with your feelings, that you have a lot of support right here and many of us go from happy to sad until it makes us nuts! I have bi-polar so I get happy and manic for 3 or 4 days and then I can go weeks with the depression so bad that I feel like I can't function. I have dealt with depressive episodes since I was 7 years old. Hang in there and know this too will pass. Here are some hugs to hopefully cheer you!