I have been widowed twice it has been almost 5 years since the second husband died and 43 years tomorrow since my first husband died. My second husband had cancer and seemed to beat it after radiation and drug therapy he was sick for around 12 years and terminal for 2 years. I was his caregiver. Except for one of our children the rest were too busy to bother much. I have goals which is the only reason i keep on going. Now it seems i am trying to find another one and not having luck with it as i am not sure what i want. I try to be grateful for our son the only one who seems to care if i live or i die so i live for him right now. I achieved most of my goals already and my energy level has dwindled i find. But after this lockdown i hope to get some back. How i survive is having goals and being grateful for my son. And i sometimes think i can find more happiness but i know it has to come from myself. ( Hugs)

How did you ever get through that second loss? I'm so very stressed!

Greetings hgsdms, I partly understand your emotional pain in losing your first spouse. My first wife passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. The loss was very painful. Whether expected, from a diagnosed terminal illness, or unexpected, It will be painful to lose one whom we love, no matter whether it is a loved one, a pet, or a spouse. I drew comfort from knowing that although I experienced a loss, my wife was in a better place now. (Part of our belief system). I understand your fear and concern in seeing the future unfold in the diagnosis of your best friend. I pray that you find comfort in all the remaining days that you two have together.