Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I had a terrible, horribly abusive first marriage to a man diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder her. I escaped that and remarried nearly 4 years ago to someone I believed loved me more than anything. Right away we joined a church that he really liked because I wanted to be supportive of him. The thing is the church is dead. It is very 1952 with no choir, no activities, and basically the philosophy that if church is exciting then it isn't really worship. I told him I didn't like the church for these reasons and it has been all out war at my house for the past month since then. I really don't know what to do as my children and I have not grown spiritually and nearly 4 years because of this dead church. I don't know what to think about this. Our marriage was great until this but now it seems like he's chosen this handful of people over me and the kids.
-
-
Today I filed an application online for three things from the State of New Jersey. I surprised myself! I wasn't expecting to do it but one thing led to another and I did it. I've been putting it off. Another thing that I'm feeling good about is my outside kitties. They aren't running away anymore and let me get quite close. Two of them were relaxing on my steps a little bit ago. I...
Also- how are people handling themselves during this time of disagreement? Do they feel like they can express themselves?
It sounds like your husband is in this run, but he does not see it as a rut. Getting him to open up and talk about it may take a lot of creative work on your part. Perhaps simply asking him why he is not open to talking about it may help.
Gentle hugs
When my husband and I don't always agree on things, there are two things I do. First, I pray about what it is we don't agree on. I ask God for what's in the highest good in the situation. For it to be His will, not mine. Second, I go and talk to my husband when we're both not busy and in a good space. I ask God to let me know when it's the right time to talk to my husband and I'll get a feeling or a sense when it is. I then inform my husband that there's something I'd like to talk to him about. ask him if it's a good time to talk to him about it. If yes, then I ask him why he feels the way he does about the situation. I genuinely listen to him. I practice not getting upset about what he says and to not take things personal. Instead, I listen and practice understanding it from his perspective. I can't tell you how many times these two steps have defused what could have potentially turned into an argument. I've found, in my own relationships, that people want to be respected, appreciated, and heard.
I understand that it's important to you to be heard by your husband and how you'd like to explore different churches and find one that resonate with you. Perhaps, after you've heard him on why he likes the church he attends and why he feels the way he does about it, you can then ask him if he would be willing to listen to you and what type of church you are looking for.
I hope that helps. Blessings to you and your husband. I will pray for you.