Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

24,601 Members

160,807 Posts

1 Online

dumbidiot 04/02/2012

I am always thinking of ways to end my life, even now, i already tried a couple of times and the people in my life did not care for me at all. At that point in my life i realized that no one does care for me. I always wanted to help out people and i have, doing so after my mother died from cancer a while back, i felt that it was the only thing i could do at that time to make me feel less guilty about not being able to help her out. I live at home with my sister and father, I have a job that can turn into a career if i want it to, i am smart and i am saving money to go to college soon so i can maybe become a Interpol agent in the future, curently speak a couple of languages, i work out, i got friends, though they really dont like to hang out that much with me, not sure why. I Almost ended my life about 8 months ago, when i felt that i was not worthy of anyones time cause some girl did not care for me, im not blaming her. I wonder sometimes if i keep on waiting if anyone will actualy want a guy like me at all, i sometimes just want to go out and sleep with every girl i can just for the hang of it and then end my life hoping that i can get a son in the future, from one of those i slept with. People keep telling me to wait and the right one will come, but what the fuck am i waiting for when the one that will come for me, has already lived her life........ and i worked for mine. I really wonder if time makes things better, cause i have waited long enough and most of my friends already have everything and more that i want. sometimes i honestly feel like im waiting for something better in my life but it always passes by me and takes the other person. Am i not deserving of being happy? Ps im 21 and a guy that never experienced the things he needed to to become a man at that age like other guys. more or less just sleeping around.

tattyhead184 04/03/2012

First of all, at 21 you're still young with plenty of time to do all the things home and like you, I had a job at the time. I initially moved into a hostel rather than take on mortgage immediately so you could maybe board and lodge too. I notice you're saving up for collage though so perhaps moving isn't for you just yet. Once you get into college I think you'll find that things will start moving and you'll be doing something constructive that will help you plan ahead. The thing with depression is that it is contageous and that's why you might be finding relationships difficult. The depression will go over time and you'll find things slot into place then. As I said, you're still young.you've mentioned. I was 24 when I moved away from

tattyhead184 04/03/2012

(Sorry, I tried to rearrange my first reply and made a hash of it.) As I was saying , I moved away from home at the age of 24. I already had a job so could at least afford to move in to rented accommodation. That's something you could aim to do once you've gained the qualifications you need. Again, as I was saying, depression is contageous so that's why people don't hang out with you - it's not you, it's the depression. You'll get better over time and at 21 you're still young with you're life ahead of you. You've got skills and ambition which is more than can be said for some people.

deleted_user 04/03/2012

My friend. You have not begun to live! I was a late bloomer and didn't get anything going until my mid twenties. I was married at 26...after dating a lot of women. Like you. But I never thought I wanted to be married...just have fun and travel with friends. I was married for 20yrs and she finally left me. I was audited by the IRS, and lost my job too. I lost everything...I MEAN EVERYTHING> I was very close to my daughter and lost the ability to see her every day. This my friend is real heartbreak.

deleted_user 04/03/2012

I lived in seclusion for a year and a half to figure out what I was all about and why I had such bad luck. I NEVER lost my faith in God however. I did feel like ending my life as well, and put my .357 magnum in my mouth twice. Both times, my daughter called me and without knowing she saved my life. I never did that again. I am now on my way back with a great job, money in the bank, and a new lady in my life. Life is good BECAUSE of those bad experiences. Those are what make you a man. What you are experiencing now will make you a better man for the woman that comes along. Nothing good is easy my friend. NOTHING easy is worth having. You're NOT supposed know what to do until God puts you where you're supposed to be....think about it.
You are on this Earth for a purpose. It takes some of us a lifetime to figure it out. But rest assured that when you finally figure it out, you will look back and be thankful for those things that challenged you. Take if from a MAN who almost lost his life a few times...You don't know what you're made of until the shit hits the fan! That's when you know the true measure of the man you are. Hang in there.

dumbidiot 04/03/2012

so what should i do?

WanderingVet 04/03/2012

Yes, .. time changes .. things. You will see many changes .. if you give it time.

>>so what should i do?

Take it one day at a time .. and do the best you can with each. You are at a difficult age. It gets EASIER .. as you go.

Join the Conversation