Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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JulesHopeFaithLove11 04/17/2008

here goes the pity party...
i feel like such an outsider wherever i am...like i just dont belong antwhere, im just standing on the sidelines as an extra when needed. i dont want to be an extra...i want to be needed, not only when someone else cant do it....why leave me till last to be asked to do something....what the heck does it matter anyway...i should be used to it by now...living this way all my life....
ok...ok..ok....enough...time for another glass or 2 or 3 or 4 of wine....nothing better to take my mind off feeling this way..and add a few extra zoloft to the mixture just for an extra kick.

JulesHopeFaithLove11 04/17/2008

i am just a total looser....not meant to be alive,,,i am a mistake on this earth and am being punished by depression and fear of people...you all scare me...and i know why noone bothers to reply.....cause you alll dont have anything nice to say, just go ahead and tell me the truth.tell me to go jump of a cliff and make the world a better place.i dont care anymore

JulesHopeFaithLove11 04/17/2008

i want this pain to end NOW

deleted_user 04/17/2008

Honey the last shall be first someday. And in this life its up to you make it better for yourself. People will always disapoint you sooner or later. we are not perfect. Your happiness has to come from within you. YOu are not a looser so stop that. If you keep thinking that that is what you will get. your a very sensitive loving person. Hugs to yu

deleted_user 04/17/2008

i can totaly relate to that, its exactly the way i feel whenever i am around people, its as though they see straight through you and you are invisible. Wow thats what its like everytime i go to my kids school, everyone talks to everyone except me, im the odd one out left on the side like someone who has some sort of disease.

JulesHopeFaithLove11 04/17/2008

Jules is doing ok now....not good...just ok and numb I guess.

JulesHopeFaithLove11 04/17/2008

WOW....what got into you last night Jules????????
ok..i know Im crazy talking to myself!

deleted_user 04/17/2008

LOL Jules I need yu.
I will watch yur kiddos while yu go work the next 4 nites for me LOL
Huggggzz and Luvvvzzz huni.

deleted_user 04/17/2008

Jules, may I ask a sincere question? Why do you show the symbol of The Cross as your avatar?
{{hugs}}

JulesHopeFaithLove11 04/17/2008

I am a Christian, and the cross is a symbol of that.
It reminds me of God when it is there to remind me....I have had lots of comments about it....and Im glad others also notice it.

deleted_user 04/17/2008

It's a wonderful avatar, do you have faith in the full meaning of what that cross represents?

JulesHopeFaithLove11 04/17/2008

yes, and I was baptised last year...
I know it sometimes seems I dont have faith when I go into a psychotic state...but it is an illness and not me not trusting God.
Make sence??

deleted_user 04/17/2008

Yes, I totally understand, so does God. Even in a psychotic state He still sees you are His. HE loves you just as you are.
Jesus was an outcast, His love was only noticed by some. There are some of us who see your love too. Don't be depsondent, He will never put on you more than you can bear.
{{hugs}}

deleted_user 04/17/2008

Yes it makes perfect sense. Does the knowledge that in His eyes you are so precious to Him?
Does He see your psychosis or does He see your soul?
Jesus was an outcast too, yet some people saw His love, we see yours also.
{{hugs}}

JulesHopeFaithLove11 04/17/2008

Thanks

deleted_user 04/17/2008

I forgot to say that you should always remember when you can't find your faith in Him, He never stops having faith in you.
I hope this helped xx

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