I hear that, people are mostly boring and superficial, real friendships with deeper connection are harder to find. Do you have therapy? Seeing a therapist can make you feel like you have a connection with them, and work on your other stuff too.

I've had the same thought, and feel like I'm not important and everyone has much more interesting things to say. I get talked over too, sometimes flat out ignored. I don't know what to tell you, but you're not alone in this.

This has happened to me so much I have just started avoiding social situations altogether. If it's your children there's a good book out there called "Hold on to your kids" or "Hold on to your children " I can't remember which, that explains very well why our kids are not as attached to adult parents as they should be. Then some adults, when they're in a group think being heard is more about a pissing contest to show their status or how important they are that they're not capable of listening to anyone else or allowing anyone else to listen to that person either

Sometimes we need to make decisions about people: do we continue the friendships, or do we back off and move on.

This is hard when it is family, and there are all those mandatory times you have to spend time with them.

Look to other family members, perhaps they have other interests that are a little deeper that lipstick. Get to know them, and perhaps you can give a little as far as topics go, and find places where the talk is a bit deeper!

If somebody is hyper focused on lipstick and spiders, odds are that you will not be able to fit in with them unless your conversation contributions center around lipstick and spiders. (Perhaps imagine a lipstick made out of crushed spiders next time you are with these people!)

Can you find other groups of people who share your interests? Perhaps a book club? Or a volunteer group that has a cause you support???

You sound like me just before the nervous breakdown. I shouldn't call it a nervous breakdown because in the end it was my birth.

I think you're possibly very depressed, but you can get a result from counselling and medication that could give you lots of help. I am now speaking my mind, and talking over top of people who interrupt me. Back then I took the hit and went silent, and endured, and suffered.

I want validation and a non-judgemental approach to what I have to say. I am tired of being lectured to by members who do not even know me. I belong here as much as any of you. Respect would be nice. There are some terrific people here, far outweighing the toxic people.

Lacy, I wish you luck. Just keep on talking and posting. I am proud of you for standing up for yourself. (((((HUGS)))))

I can relate to this post a lot and it feels awful when this happens. I often feel unheard, invalidated and unimportant when I am with other people. They are look so confident and so together and they belong in the group we are in, while I don't. I feel awkward insecure and uninteresting.

I wanted to let you know you are not alone in this. I hear you and it sucks.

Maybe this bunch will be of interest:

https://www.mensa.org/

WE HEAR AND CARE ABOUT U, SWEETIE...........................
GBU
DRENA B
;-]

I also found people were like that ..so .what I did was ....go between people ...depending on what they were doing if I was interested in it of not ................I played football with the boys because the girls weren't interested ..........I built roads and buildings for the boys to play with there trucks because I am artistic ....and I loved doing it ......I never had ..a best friend untill I came here .............I find ..few people ...are willing to ...give enough of there selves ...and axcept ..with out judgment .....to be able to form that kind of bond .....................................that being the case ..you have every right to feel ....validated ....and heard ....the way you schould be heard ..and not to be minimized ...by aneyone ...as to what you have to say or who you are .......talking over someone ..is disrespectful .....to acknowledge what you have said ..is somthing we all want ...so it schould be given freely .........to be asked questions ...showes ..that ..they are interested in your ideas ...in things you have learned ..in..who ..you are as a person .....and I turn ..know you as a person ...we all want to be included ....some ware at some time ....we have a need ..as a human being ...to be included ...it was a Mater of life and death ...on ..our early history .....and it can be a mater of our emotional health n these times ...............first you need to follow your heart ..not just try to fit your self in to a squar ..space if your a triangle ...it never works ....try and find like minded people ...shair a little see what comes back .....we have to rember in here ..that we are all suffering ...so ..some of us will drop out for a while because we are not doing good enough to be in here and some drop out because they are doing better ..and some drop out because ..life just gets so bissey ..but we all eventualy come back .............................................................I think you have every right to expect .....these things ..........thankyou ..for reminding ..us ...we all deserve ..these things to .....take care ..of your self ....God bless

HOW R U DOING?
GBU
DRENA B
;-O

First I want to say that you , as well as everyone on this board, are important, deserve to be listened to and don't deserve to be disrespected or ignored like that. You do have a voice and we will listen and hear you. Sometimes the way people treat us is not a statement of us but who those others are as human beings. If you can, try not to take it personally, it's really not about you.
Hugs

Lacy

How about http://www.meetup.com for connections?

Thank you everyone. I am glad I am on here and I am thankful for all the suggestions and feelings. I do not feel so alone, and I am lucky that all of you shared exactly what you did. I think I am going to laugh out loud now every time I run into the lipstick ladies. lol. I am glad to hear that I am not alone in this. It is funny to watch people socialize and see what they do.... I wonder what they think of me? It is funny because when you don't play by other's rules anymore...you change the system....no matter where that system is...at work or at home. I am all for humility...but I agree that sometimes you have to step up or step off. It is time for me to speak up and also put boundaries in place. Other people believe in me far more then I believe in myself. Thank you for your responses again. I feel heard and validated. I need this. I need to be able to ramble. I need to get it all out. If I can fall apart on here a little then maybe I can be strong through my day.

I think the idea here is not that I think that I am better then anyone else. I also think that too much humility is prideful. I think the idea is that because I just like many of you have been through so much that it is hard to relate to normalness whether it be laughter or conversation or just enjoying an activity. It is like I heard one veteran say...when you have been to war in another country it is hard to come home and play house. When you are sitting in the room with so many others and they are laughing and enjoying themselves. It is the psychological wall between your experience and "the party." I was molested by two different people as a child, watched my dad beat my mom. My mom....well was just weird on so many levels....enemas and all. I think she was Sybil's sister. I was betrayed by my first husband, and my second cheated on me repeatedly. And was verbally, psychologically and physically abusive. Geez did I just say all that out loud. So when I say I cant be light hearted and worry about the shade of lipstick...is it because I am disassociated? PTSD? Depressed? Hypervigilant? Am I in fight or flight mode all the time so I can't relax? Is it that I just can't play house when there is so many other things to worry about? I know I am rambling.