Sometimes work can feel like a bad marriage.

When you find the one on jobharmony.com, the thrill is almost overwhelming. You send in a resume and seduce someone into talking to you. You do the dance, sign the paperwork and raise glasses to what should be a beautiful relationship.

Then the honeymoon ends and you start to smell the office coffee literally.

But sometimes leaving isnt an option. Maybe you want to stay in your job (or that marriage?) for the money. Or because its helping you get where you want to be. Or because youre not sure where to jump to.

If you hate your job but cant quit (yet), here are four habits that will help you work through it:

1. Dont wait for a pat on the back
Most people hate their jobs not because the actual work sucks, but because they dont feel appreciated. (Especially women. Yes, Im calling yall out.)

Theres nothing wrong with wanting to feel wanted, but managers dont really get paid to make people feel good they get paid to produce results. In most organizations, results are measured in dollars and cents, not smiles and camaraderie. If youre working hard because youre hoping for a pat on the back somewhere down the line, youre setting yourself up for disaster when it doesnt happen.

Bottom line: Never do anything with an expectation to receive compliments.

Work as if youre working for God himself and if a compliment comes out of that, great! If not, no problem. Cash your paycheck and keep it moving.

2. Take pride in your appearance
If you own your own business and dress casual, its called genius or originality or self-expression or edge. But if you work for someone else and you dont look professional, youll likely be seen as, well, frumpy.

When sitting in an office cubicle starts to feel like being in a prison cell, you owe it to yourself to at least look good while youre serving your sentence. Maybe its shallow, but we feel better about ourselves when we look good.

Bottom line: Go out of your way to look good every day. Youll walk taller, feel better and be less likely to stab someone with a pencil.

3. Get some good lovin
No, not that kind. Im referring to getting down to whatever makes you uniquely you that thing you fall in love with every single time you do it (this still isnt sounding right; maybe I should include examples).

It could be solo dance parties, knitting, tie and dye, opera or Greys Anatomy marathons. Its tempting to want to spend every waking hour outside of work complaining about work to people on the internet Dont do it. Instead, make sure Facebook cant supply any skank status updates that will eventually turn around to bite you where the sun doesnt shine.

Bottom line: Balance job hatred with good lovin from something you deeply enjoy.

4. Make things happen
Action is much more efficient than hoping someone will notice the value you bring to the table.

Hate the cube? Ask for a new one. Hate that chair? Replace it yourself. Cant stand your laptop? Buddy up with IT. Ready for a new challenge? Ask for a promotion or transfer.

Its incredibly frustrating to want something and never get it especially when its something you deserve. A word of caution on this though: make sure youre actually producing the dollars and cents we talked about in No. 1, and be reasonable when making requests. Theres a mighty fine line between a polite, legitimate request and unearned whining.

Bottom line: If you want something and deserve it, take the necessary steps to make it happen.

It would be nice to just quit, find a new job or even start a business and if you can make those happen, go for it!

But those options arent always as easy as they sound. So if youre at your wits end at a job thats sucking the life out of you, where quitting tomorrow isnt in the cards, make the best of it while you figure stuff out.


Read more: http://articles.businessinsider.com/2011-10-20/news/30301182_1_bottom-line-bad-marriage-office-coffee#ixzz2IL65g6Vg

My first reaction is also to walk away. Does that go along with depression? I think: It's just a job, right? In the past, this kind of thinking was never a problem because the job market where I live used to be so good. You could find a new job within days with no problem. Since the economy crashed, that is no longer the case. Our unemployment % has been one of the highest in the country for years. So now, I am stuck in a job I hate with a micromanaging boss from hell and no escape route. This week has been especially bad, and all I want to do is run, run, run... They say "one day at a time" but really, it's one hour at a time... one task at a time... maybe even one breath at a time. I also came here for help just a few days ago. You can see for yourself that the people here are very supportive.

I'm sorry things are not going so well for you right now. Maybe posting here more, or journaling, might help clear your head? Sometimes I get stuck on a line of thinking and nothing will shake me out of it, unless I talk to someone and get it "out."

One breath at a time...

I've been fortunate enough to say that I've not walked away from my job or lost a job because of my depression. However, I'm surprised! Over the last year I have noticed that I no longer want to come to work, and find ways to leave early.

It's not just my job that's been affected. I've also lost a majority of my friendships and my relationship because of my depression. Why would anyone want to be with someone who has no motivation?

I last about 3-5 years per company that I have worked for. I leave due to frustrations and boredom as well as being sick of politics that are unique to each organization.

But I have been with my current company going on 6.5 years!!

I have struggled not to self sabotage. I have a good gig and would be stupid to give them a reason to can me.

I have struggled to maintain a job due to my avoidant personality disorder. I think it is one of the biggest causes of my depression ebcause I feel so worthless not being able to support myself. I hope to get to the point where I can have a nice little stable career.

Well honestly. I would like to. Finding the right motivation is hard. I would want to be with someone that does not have motivation. I am giver. It will give me something to fight other than just me. Which is why I usually get taken advantage of easily.

You keep writing im proud of u being your first time, you are not a failure you stand up to those mean ones i know what it feels like & its not nice for anyone to do that to anyone body - you are a fighter yes God made u for whatever reason & he doesn't want u to give up at all, i'm here if u ever need an ear.
(((((Hugs,Angel))).

The thinking a lot problem. I hear ya. It's painful to be so in your head about everything. Think, think and think. Try to shut it off, try to control it, try to make it only positive. Wish there was a simple toggle switch to hit to give myself a break!
All the best to you and good job breaking the ice on DS.

Nick, my husband tells me all the time I over analyze things..I am a thinker. It does make you more apt to feel depressed. I am in a job right now that Im sick of after 10 years. Cant seem to make up my mind whether or not to quit. It was great for the first 5 years until we got a new boss. I love my co-workers though & the kids I work with. With the economy the way it is, I probably would feel guilty quitting. Another thing to over-analyze & feel depressed about. I just go to work every day, concentrate on my job, & do the best I can. It makes me feel good at the end of the day when I KNOW ive done a good job! Good luck!

Good first effort. I feel as if I have been introduced. I hope you will keep posting, and I will reply if I see one of them. I am over the work battle. I have retired after 34.75 years. At least 25 of those years, I loathed my job. I stayed for money. It was not worth it.

Retirement is very good, though. I got the therapy I needed, and I am living the life now that I used to only dream about.

Hope to see you again on here. If you stay, you will learn stuff!

No Brag, Just Fact.