Talking to different people will yield different results. Some people, especially those who are dealing with their own mental struggles, can't handle the weight of hearing about other's problems. If your friend was just being honest with you, then you have to try to respect that.
I have been in both positions, and I know how it feels to be ignored by those whom you think care about you, but also to feel myself being crushed under the weight of another person's problems when I am not feeling strong myself.

That is a difficult question ..........at one time I kept everything to my self and that only lead me to be so depressed I ended up in hospital ....I couldn't talk to people than because they wouldn't understand ......and it hasn't changed much .........but I have some good friends that I can talk a little to ........mostly it has been my phicatrist.that I have been able to talk to .......I think it depends on the relationship you have with a person ......I can talk a lot with my husband but still can't talk about it all with him so I need my phicatrist....I need to be on meds right now any way ... ...I don't think you should feel bad if someone tells you that you are causing them to be upset if you share with them ....they must care about you if it is bothering them ...........but that Is for you to decide .....if they care or if they just don't care ....I know that if someone I knew wanted to confided in my I would listen even if it bothered me and I wouldn't let them know it bothered me ....but if it became that it was to often I would shy away from that person because I have depression and so any other pain I go through goes on top of my depression and sinkers me under .....you can't always know what reason they have for not wanting to listen .....I go on the depression board but I can only come on here for so long at a time and it starts affecting me in a negative way to here others problems because I relay feel for them and I understand how much pain comes with depression ......and it hurts me to see others hurting ....that's me ......I think in here is a good place for you to talk because it all really needs to come out .....and I think you should have a councillor or a phicaatrist. to talk to .....even if you can find group therapy for your problem would be a good idea. ............I am open with people who have gone through the same things as I have .....I find we can help each-other........but some friends just want to be friends to go places with and enjoy your company it doesn't mean they don't care ...it is maybe how they cope ...........I hope you find what you are looking for .......who you are looking for ......there are good people in here ......and you can message me if you like what we talk about will remain between the two of us .........take good care of your self .....god bless

There are plenty of people that never offer words of support to anyone.
It doesn't cross their minds.

Your friend may feel bad, for you, but since she can't help you, she
doesn't want to hear about you being treated badly. Or, she may need to keep things light. You never know what anyone is dealing with themselves, and much of the time, it would shock you.

You can tell your mother if she refuses to treat you like the adult that you are, you will hang up the phone, stop texting, go home, or send her home .. and do it. She's your mother, but you deserve respect, too.

"How are you?", from someone you don't know, is a greeting, and saying "hello" back, is one appropriate response. If you're in the middle of a conversation with someone you're close to, you can tell what they want to hear from someone based on what they talk about with you.

No offense - but it sounds like your "friend" is not much of a friend.

I know a guy who said that when he leaves church - he does not just shake someones hand - he makes sure to look them in the eye, put a hand on their shoulder and ask them 'how are you doing'. BUT - he warns - you have to be careful with this - because if people think you are sincere - they will tell you all about their week.

we go thru life in our little bubbles. We give obligatory nods to colleagues and say hi, but we do not listen. If you (or in this case your friend) wants a real RELATIONSHIP - then both people have to talk as well as listen.


Long rant to say - what you did was fine. Your friend was a bit of a jerk.

I bottle it up and then sink under the pressure, so you need to find someone to confide in. Your friend maybe isn't strong enough, so that's a non-starter. Is there anyone in a local church who offers counselling? I have phoned the Samaritans here in the UK and it has helped me because I know they're trained to cope with what ever they feel.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Coming to this site and posting will always yield support and understanding because we are all dealing with similar thoughts/feelings. Only people that have suffered anxiety/major depression can understand. I don't think your friend was trying to be mean they just don't "get it".

I am lucky that my mom and aunt have both suffered from major depression and I can bounce stuff off of them but I also feel lucky to have found this site and see how many people truly understand what I am talking about.

If you find friends that understand then talk to them. If your friends don't understand just let them know you're not having a great day and leave it at that.

I'm so sorry you are being upset by you're own mother. That is not right and you have every right to be upset but you are a strong person just like your profile pic..."Eye of the Tiger"!!!

Have a great day today :)

I am a people person..if I know you I will open up to you, and it helps me feel better..the friends I have here are the best, and help me through my day...if I don't know you, well, then I'm pretty much a quiet person, and over the years, it has helped me to talk to other people, and get things out...otherwise, I keep my feelings inside, until I blow up..peace

I have trouble communicating because of low self esteem. I am pretty much alone but am lucky to have 2 people I can talk to on occasion to some extent. I don't share all the black thoughts. I just don't think there are many who can take it and as said, you never know what load others are carrying.

I am glad you use your journal. That is the one place I can be totally honest about what I feel, hat is going on, and rant and rave all I need to. It is my safe place.

I see you have a lot of friends and hope you are building up real relationships with at least some of them. I recognize some and know they offer good caring advice.

Hope you do take advantage of therapy. I think it is important but it is imperative that you find a good match for you.

Use this site and take advantage of the friends you have made here. They understand

Please also be sure that you are a good listener. Some people don't want to hear your negatives every time they talk to you, maybe they would like to talk about themselves also. Give them equal time and care about them as much as you want them to care about you and you will find true friendship.

Thank you all for your replies. Your wisdom helps me put things into perspective. It makes sense someone dealing with their own problems may not be able to carry the weight of hearing another person's. I just wish that would have been expressed to me because it just makes me feel crummy when I hear I make people anxious and depressed. It makes me feel like I am too much of a mess for anyone. I feel deeply ashamed that I am not normal.

LONG B4 I SUFFERED FROM CLINICAL DEPRESSION, I HAD A FRIEND WHO DID. I STRANGELY RELATED TO HER PROBLEMS AND WANTED TO HELP. THEN I MOVED AWAY A SHORT DISTANCE. THEN THE TELEPHONE COMPANY WENT ON STRIKE. I KNEW SHE WAS "S................." BECAUSE SHE JUST WAS SHORTLY B4 RELEASED FROM A MENTAL WARD. I COULDNT CALL HER BECAUSE I COULDNT HAVE A PHONE INSTALLED AND CONNECTED BECAUSE OF THE STRIKE. ONE WEEK AFTER I MOVED, SHE COMMITTED "S.............." BUT I DIDNT KNOW IT. I CALLED HER HOUSE AT CHRISTMAS TIME. HER NEWLY WED HUSBAND WHICH I DIDNT KNOW HAD MARRIED AGAIN SAID HIS WIFE COMMITTED "S..........." ONE WEEK AFTER I MOVED. HE WAS SECRETLY DATING HIS NEW WIFE AND THE DEAD ONE KNEW ABOUT IT. I HAD THE GIFT TO BE SYMPATHETIC WITH PEOPLE WHO SUFFER DEPRESSION BACK THEN. SHE WAS A VERY NICE PERSON.
PEOPLE WHO DO NOT SUFFER FROM EMOTUIONAL PROBLEMS REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT DEPRESSION IS. THEY SEEM TO BE IN A FOG ABOUT THE SUBJECT.

Why are you worried about one so called friend when you show 39 friends on your list. Also don't let one jerk override what you and your therapist are working on, I doubt he/she is qualified.

I think you are right about not letting one person ruin my progress, but I will say each friend is unique and one person does not replace another neither does 39 replace one. Plus this person holds a special place in my heart so it kills me if they think ill of me or if my messed up life hurt them in any way.

I am a very sensitive soul and it is agony knowing I don't mean as much to people as they mean to me.

I can understand why you don't want to open up your feelings anymore. With friends like that, I would not be able to open up to my friends either. And there is nothing worse then being around people who are me, me ,me people. Or I, I , I..... No I in team I believe. Speak with us and will not make you feel that way. At least it better not happen. We are here to support you, love you, and make you feel good about yourself, not worse. Hugs GB

Thank you, GB. You are always a ray of sunshine.

I think sometimes with mental illness some people get so caught up in their own issues they forget about others.