I went through a breakup about a month ago, my SATs were yesterday, and my only close friend recently returned from volunteer work in Africa where she was basically cut off from social media. What do these things have in common? They’re all reasons why I was stressed the fuck out! I’ve been really struggling with healthy and effective coping mechanisms. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve been through the therapy ringer. I’ve discussed and discussed how to use coloring books and bubble baths to feel like a capable human being who’s worthy of a pleasant existence. But oh man do those unhealthy coping mechanisms have a sweet siren song.
Like most people who suffer from mental illnesses, I’ve dabbled with eating disorders. I was obese as a kid and I’ve undergone extreme weight loss. Instead of my 10 year old self’s dream of splashing around in bikinis with my gfs or a boy actually having a crush on me, I was left with excess skin and eating issues. Go figure. In fact, it was the skin that made my ex dump me! Oh man, that was a fun attempt at a first time. Anyways, It goes to say that I’ve never had a really healthy relationship with food and my weight is constantly fluctuating. These days I’ve been packing on the pounds with binge eating. Which sucks because I need to get a primary care physician before I can get a new psychiatrist. I can’t get a primary care physician because I can’t step on a scale. I can’t step on a scale because I keep depression stuffing my fucking face. Well not for like the past two days but that’s out of like...a month. I guess the only solution is to woman up and stop binging. I already know that but I’m posting here like I’m helpless. I guess putting it out there just alleviates some of the shame.
so much stuff happened this yr that so much of it is hard to deal with. I have decided to go forward in my life without my family . They are just not healthy for me . I am trying to only be with people who accept me for me and leave people who don't make me feel good. From my mom being so mean to me and telling me I was a fuck . Imagine that my very own mother who has lived in my home for the...
In the old days if someone went missing even for a few days someone would post. 'where's Gina? or Pagan or Ruby or Dobie or Dancing D or Precious or ML or Jan or Mojo or Curious or whomever. am very sad to see that aspect of DS gone. Has everyone left or what is going on? thoughts? I mean where the hell is Tommy?