Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Mom in the hospital. It's bad, bad news.
i've been hog-tied by my sisters.
i have no idea what meds Mom is on. i do not know what goes on at her Dr appointments. My Sisters rule the roost and deem fit what info is okay for me to hear. i am the last to know, if at all.
Today my Sister (aka. Miss Nasty-Pants) classified me as being "too emotional" and she doesn't want me to be involved, going so far as to suggest that i don't even go see my Mom. Since when i was put in the role of crazy insane Aunt Maudlin?
At one point, my other Sister (aka. Miss Prissy-Pants) informed me that Mom called her, wondering when we were going to visit her. i texted my sister, sarcastically requesting permission to see Mom since she wants my presence.
The expensive, fancy Medical Advocate that my sisters outsource all of Mom's medical needs, she holds all the cards. She is the unofficial 4th Sister. And she knows i despise her. My sisters cry poorhouse, but then pay that woman $120/hr to do a job that i can do for free. While i live 15 minutes away and am unemployed and broke.
So i gave the Medical Asshole the stink eye. She made a quick exit. When the nurse finally showed up & did intake & asked me simple questions & what meds is Mom on, i couldn't answer it. She lectured me on the importance of knowing. i told her that i'm just the daughter with a phone number. That no one tells me anything. i feel Useless.
Is that being a victim? i'm not being told Anything, no matter how many times i ask. i have repeatedly asked for information, i have asked for a med list to no avail -- they do not want me to be involved. Mom's aide knows more than I do.
It is the "Girls Club" all over again. Excluding the baby of the family. Making all the commandeering decisions. Leaving me out in the cold.
i really don't see the purpose to being in the world anymore. i am useless. i am nobody. i have no voice, as usual. i feel like someone is choking me. my throat aches. my eyes seep tears.
Oh wait. Maybe i should just cheer up & stop feeling sorry for myself, like someone suggested on one of my previous journal entries.
Right.
i've been hog-tied by my sisters.
i have no idea what meds Mom is on. i do not know what goes on at her Dr appointments. My Sisters rule the roost and deem fit what info is okay for me to hear. i am the last to know, if at all.
Today my Sister (aka. Miss Nasty-Pants) classified me as being "too emotional" and she doesn't want me to be involved, going so far as to suggest that i don't even go see my Mom. Since when i was put in the role of crazy insane Aunt Maudlin?
At one point, my other Sister (aka. Miss Prissy-Pants) informed me that Mom called her, wondering when we were going to visit her. i texted my sister, sarcastically requesting permission to see Mom since she wants my presence.
The expensive, fancy Medical Advocate that my sisters outsource all of Mom's medical needs, she holds all the cards. She is the unofficial 4th Sister. And she knows i despise her. My sisters cry poorhouse, but then pay that woman $120/hr to do a job that i can do for free. While i live 15 minutes away and am unemployed and broke.
So i gave the Medical Asshole the stink eye. She made a quick exit. When the nurse finally showed up & did intake & asked me simple questions & what meds is Mom on, i couldn't answer it. She lectured me on the importance of knowing. i told her that i'm just the daughter with a phone number. That no one tells me anything. i feel Useless.
Is that being a victim? i'm not being told Anything, no matter how many times i ask. i have repeatedly asked for information, i have asked for a med list to no avail -- they do not want me to be involved. Mom's aide knows more than I do.
It is the "Girls Club" all over again. Excluding the baby of the family. Making all the commandeering decisions. Leaving me out in the cold.
i really don't see the purpose to being in the world anymore. i am useless. i am nobody. i have no voice, as usual. i feel like someone is choking me. my throat aches. my eyes seep tears.
Oh wait. Maybe i should just cheer up & stop feeling sorry for myself, like someone suggested on one of my previous journal entries.
Right.
You are a grown woman who wants to know about the care of her mother. So, go do that. You don't need anyone's permission.
Oh, sorry....Did I get too emotional?
Roxie
try and talk with them and let them know they aren't helping your health by making u feel like an outsider? easier said than done I imagine.. maybe you can write them a letter?
after writing that out, i decided to email an edited version to my 1 sister (Prissy) who sometimes can hear me more clearly.
This morning I looked at my email and thought: Oh Shit! (I haven't heard back from her yet)
Well, it's out there now, telling her how I feel and how this situation has left me feeling pretty disempowered.
A couple months ago, I had tried to go around her & contact the Medical advocate. The upshot of that was the Advocate contacted my 2 sisters, they had a conference call without me, and I was then told that they did not want my observations any more.
There's a lot of anger in this family. Mom is narcissistic, with serious mental health issues, which is now compounded by dementia-like symptoms and serious health issues. What a mess. But she's still my Mom. If it were me, how would I want to be treated? that's what I keep saying to myself -- it's where my compassion lives.
Today I am going to Mom's apartment to get some things she requested; if I can find it, I am going to scan her current medication list, for future reference.
thanks again for all your support and ideas and wisdom... and for getting angry on my behalf ;)
Well, dealing with all those stress factors is a very hard thing to do. My mother is layed up as well..she OD'd and I dont even know on what. My father is vague, and my current GF..well rides my ass about it. It stresses me out and makes me feel like Im a horrible son.
Stand up to them, who cares if they are older? Tell them you want in, and if you dont get a pass into the "Girls club", then you are going to burn the fucking club house down!