I have great sympathies for teachers these days, having to put up with rowdy, rude princes and princesses who don't know what the "rules" mean. It's no wonder that you have drunk in excess. It's this digital era, all the kids are living in a haze of facebooks, instagrams and video games, their sense of reality is all distorted and makes them feel invincible. Perhaps the neighbourhood that you are working in is too tough. Can you ask for a transfer? Perhaps you can change jobs altogether, think outside the square and do something else instead of teaching, diversify perhaps? It would be a shame if you bring that terrible work baggage home and affecting your wife and children. You have endured too much in a toxic environment to bring that income home, but it would not be worth it to die over a crappy job. Life surely is more than a job !

Depression always makes us feel like anyone is better of without us but in all reality that's not true, have you got a passion you were always interested in doing ? If so can you try and follow that ? Change jobs if that's not working for you I could totally understand what that would be like dealing with a bunch of disrespectful kids day in day out. One thing iv learnt from being suicidal myself most of my life as a teenager and it still lingers in the back of my mind alot as iv got older, I lost my brother to it 27 yrs ago,then my son 6 yrs ago, we are here for a reason ,the question is what's the reason ? Trying to figure it out is quiet a thing, but also having a NDE I know I'm meant to be here here till I'm taken home, and I refuse to give in, change your life take the steps needed to it might be hard but it can be done.

Nothing is worth ending your life for you children need you around to support them, I understand that you are having a bad time but maybe you need a small break so that you can think things over, I lost my first wife at the age 40 with cancer I was left with 2 special need boys who was very young I couldn't cope I wanted to do the same as you but I had to keep going for my boys, I had a massive breakdown and my health was bad my consultant was very concerned that my boys was going to kill me, but you know something I'm still here today.
So think before you do anything silly. Take care.

I also feel that about my children, but to do that to them would be give them a pain, also you feel life is pointless, but you are incredible - teaching is amazing, if you need to change perhaps to tutoring so you don't have colleagues, but point isn't based on work or even relationships, but living, as hard as that can be

Hey brother, I too was in a state of hopelessness and worthlessness. Someone was kind enough to point me in the right direction where I found the strength to discover my true self and purpose in life and leave behind all the negative emotions that had been tormenting me pretty much my whole life. They first gave me this book called "Melchizedek's Pearls of Love". It has done so much for me its hard to even put it into words. I feel obligated to share it with you and others. If you are interested I can give it to you and send you the link to download. Hang in there. There is always a way up and out of the storm you are in!

"she just doesn't get the shit I have to take as a teacher."

and what would you want her to do about it? I don't think she could fix it.

So .... you have a ton of options to have a great life. Suicide is not one of them.

Try this first:

https://www.thinketh.io/

Thank you all. Im still here . Plan to be

Good. Very good. Now, just like most people, work on tweaking your faults. Makes for a better life. The better life is, the better life is.

I don't know about you but...October has been an alarmingly difficult month?!? I find myself highly reactive to the Full Moon and all of its affects. Well, have had 2 this month! While reviewing my journal I can see my entries becoming more desperate as we approach the Full Moon phase; I become more emotional and anxiety ridden. I worked (a long time) in the Education/therapy field at a psychiatric hospital for adolescents-ever heard of the term 'Lunatics'? The stresses on today's teachers are exponetially difficult as you navigate between virtual and being physically present for instruction. Personally, I would not have been able to deal with it (I am Permanently Disabled now) as my technological skills are sub-par. Have you talked with any of your colleagues about the increasingly difficult challenges? I want to Thank You and all of the others in this field for doing all that you can. Find someone/something that provides YOU an outlet for all of this- YOU deserve the support! Having "Me Time' is incredible important as the demands on ALL of our lives have been pushed beyond limits! Breathe, journal, meditate and don't forget to ask others for support when needed- we ALL tend to think that everyone knows the challenges that we face. Hang in there!

I also feel this way often.
My spouse doesn't love me and I honestly don't know why he is with me.
I'm sorry you feel this way.
Just know someone out there knows kinda how you feel.

Invest in Kids and God.