Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Depressive state

Mommaoftwo2
Mommaoftwo2

hello everyone I’m new and could use some help and some advice...


my soonto be mother in law and me have had an ongoing battle back and forth for 5 years she’s been nasty to me ever since I found out I was pregnant constant fight when I was pregnant it got to the point when I had my daughter the nurse gave me a secret word to use if she got to be to much and I wanted her out let’s jump ahead to recently it’s not any better I suffer from depression anxiety ptsd and much more her other son was recently diagnosed with depression and she tends to him a lot yes I get it that’s her son but she just tells me I’m paranoid or I need to grow up and get over myself I have tried multiple times to reconcile and I get blown off it effecting me so much cause I’m trying to make amends for my kids and my fiancé but the battle is now causing problem between me and my fiancé I just can’t take it anymore it breaks me inside that I get rejected I get called a child by my fiancé because I try so hard and nothin works I’m at my wits end and not sure how much more I can take I’m trying so hard I see therapist and support groups I just don’t know what to do I’m broken I’m sick of hiding and crying when I can be enjoying my day or getting things done someone please tell me it won’t always be like this and how I can try to fix everything I apologized for the things I have done I just don’t understand why I get bashed when I’m the one trying

OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
It is our nature to want to fix things but, we can't always FIX things. You have tried and apologized and that is all you can do. Don't let how these people treat you, define you. We all go through circumstances in life but, we don't have to allow these circumstances to define us. The depression is what is causing the crying, along with the PTSD. It's had to say but you may have to separate yourself from these people who upset you and treat you as you have described.
Mommaoftwo2
Mommaoftwo2
It’s just hard cause one of those people is my fiancé and anytime I try to eliminate myself I spend more time with my kids like most of my time and refuse to let my kids see her because she feeds them negative stuff so I put up a fight and he always tells me I can’t stop her like it’s frusterating all I do is worry about what’s best for my kids I’m just over being bashed for my decision when I’m only trying to do what’s best for my kids
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
The problem lies with either you or her, or both. Thing is, she is not likely going to change. In my opinion, depending on where 'everyone' wants to go, your soon to be husband needs to insist Mom butts out ... PERIOD, but doesn't sound like that will happen either. THEN, there is the matter of the baby. If you think it's bad now, wait until that happens.

Except for the baby needing a Father, I would hesitate to even marry.

You have big problems which are likely to get worse. You are hoping to change MIL ... don't count on it.

I obviously don't have solutions, but better to know what to expect than to find out a little here and there later.

Good luck to you. You need to settle with 'husband' before he becomes your husband and get this mess cleaned up and resolved.
Mommaoftwo2
Mommaoftwo2
Our daughter is 4 now and we have been engaged for 4 years I refuse to marry until me and him get insane page he makes every excuse in the book for her but I get called a child cause I take the bashing and everything to heart which makes everything worse no one should have to be bashed the way I am I was wrong in multiple situations and have apologized for all of it i at least did my part
soulsearcher83
soulsearcher83
I wouldn't marry this guy. There is NO excuse to call someone a child to demean them. My family has done that to me repeatedly. I cut them off. I had to for my sanity and health. I don't have solutions either except to sit down with your therapist and your fiance and work things out with help from a neutral person. If he's not open to that, I say back out and don't get married. This won't improve until he's on your side and not making you feel like less than the mother of his child and his future wife.
bethelbee
bethelbee
Sounds like a toxic relationship, which is not good for your mental health. I have had to separate myself from a couple different friends because it wasn't healthy for me. I can't imagine considering marrying someone who doesn't treat me like I deserve to be treated. You deserve to be happy.
Hope thongs work out for you!
Sending hugs and support...
Restful
Restful
I agree with the other responses here. If you go forward with the marriage, things will probably only get worse over time. Anyone who has that kind of negative impact on your mental health should be excluded from your life.
UngerTime
UngerTime
I maintain an independent view of your situation, it really depends on what you want, it doesn't sound like you haven't quite decided and need validation. You need to weigh your options and decide what would be best, not only for you, but for your children as well. Once you become a mother, you have more obligation than just yourself. I don't want to sound demeaning, but maybe it is possible you are being a little childish, and you have to decide if that is true and you need to change, or if you should keep pushing (in a healthy way) and get a result that is beneficial for everyone.

If you do decide to stay and push through, I recommend having an honest discussion with your fiance and establishing boundaries, which includes compromise on both ends.
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