Ive had an awful 30 minutes that's just made me come to this as I do not like discussing my feelings to people. June 21st, 2015 was one of the worst days of my life. My uncle crashed his dirt bike at out family reunion and then passed away. Before this my two month old cousin was murdered by his own mother whom is not blood related to me thank god. In between all of this  I've had lots of loss. Lots. Lately I had been feeling this very anxious awful feeling. It's like I'm waiting for the next person to die. For the next tragedy to arise. Mind you I had a good day and I was totally fine before now. I was just watching Greys Anatomy and an accident in the show triggered me for some reason. A couple months after my uncle died I started to pull my own hair out. I know that I shouldn't. I tell myself not to. It's like I have no control over it. It's like my brain controls my hands and doesn't let me think on my own. I don't know how else to think about it. Anyways, I'm struggling. I'm really struggling. I'm on an anti-depressant but it's for my sleep disorder called RBD. I really don't want to talk to my doctor about all this let alone a therapist but I really need some help. Even if that means I message back and forth with someone talking about our stories. I need someone that I can just let all of this out when I can because I can't do it in my own life. I can't even do that with my parents or sister. I need a stranger. Thank you.