Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have been feeling sorry for myself a lot lately. I have a job and I am a minority, and my peers are very racist. They did not show up for a meeting several weeks ago that I hosted. I have to ask numerous times to get any documentation for jobs. They keep failing everything that I am teaching them. I am in pain 24/7 because I feel the hate and discrimination. If I can't find another job, then I work with the discrimination, find a better job, or file for bankruptcy. It is even worse because I have noone to come home to vent with, and I play reruns in my mind about my day over and over again. It is a horrible nightmare and my depression is worse every day. I was never treated this way in the past until this job. I can't cope and I don't know what to do. I hardly do any work at this job for the reason that I was hired and my company takes advantage of my minority status and I get bullied and I have cracked a couple of times already to my boss and she is in shock. I don't know if companies realize that we are human beings and deserve fair treatment and just actions. I have walked away from other jobs, but I have too many bills that stacked up. I will probably lose my apartment and car if I quit. If I did not have to work then my depression level would be zero. I let people get under my skin and bother me. They ask me to do them favors and I never get the thank you or respect. Now, I see me, and I see on the other side an entire company against me. I am searching for a new job, in which I do not have to answer to a supervisor everyday. I can work on my own and not hear the retaliation from my peers. I am going to picture them as gang bangers and not say a word to them until they can respect me.
I feel for you and empathize. Totally understand b/c i was in your shoes when I was much younger, I'm from an immigrant family too, who were just starting out in the U.S.A., we had nothing, and we were thrust into living in a very middle class neighborhood when we were NOT middle class. Discrimination? It was terrible.
I'm a bit older than you, In my middle working years, things got better, because it was easier to get a job b/c I was young. So luckily I did better then.
As I got older, since my 40's, it got full blown terrible. Yes, like you, I feel it's "THEM" against "ME". There's all kinds of discriminations out there. I finally went on Disability and stopped working. Now things are different, but there sure are mean nasty people out there. People probably walk all over you and ignore your feelings and don't give you the time of day. Oh I know.
If you live near a hospital, try and get into a mental health clinic if they have one or if they can refer you to one. Get some help, someone to talk to. If you have limited funds, you'd be amazed about how much help there is out there now. Also, call 311 they can guide you to help, even free meals. I've called them a few times and they were helpful.
AND--get out, FIND a way out of these toxic work environments. It only gets you worse. You need to work in a small place with kind people. You'll have to do some phone calls to get the help you need, but it's worth it. Things will get better, and it will be different. Take it from me. I was just like you once.
Start with your boss who may to be sensitive to your issues. At least, she should be. If not, find another advocate to protect your civil rights. The Department of Labor (in USA) comes to mind. If this is happening to you, it is happening to others.
I believe your health is more important than your income. To that end, perhaps you can begin to find ways to supplement or replace your income at your current position. There are many opportunities to work from home with supporting technology. Check the Unemployment Offices or related employment placement businesses that can help you with this. Perhaps you can tutor students or baby sit. How are your yard working, waitressing, cooking, baking, or animal skills. If you have needs that are not being met, so do others. Be creative and remember, it is only temporary until you can find a new, full time career.
The challenge may not be in finding supplemental income (there are too many opportunities out there) but will come from dealing with depression. Have you been diagnosed by a medical doctor as having a mental health disorder? Have you been prescribed appropriate medication? Besides medication and prescribed diets and exercise, attempt to stay busy and interact with others (church, gym, bingo, etc.). These are not easy behaviors if you are fighting depression, but will gradually improve not only your health, but also your attitude. Oh, and pray first.