I understand your plight, single parenting is nigh on an impossible thing to do, but I can assure you that in the long term the pain you currently suffer will have been worth it. Hang tough as best you can, and I do hope you can get the respite you clearly need soon.

I think it would help if you thought about this:

Happiness is a choice. We CAN just wait for things to happen that make us happy, .. but that cuts the odds down quite a bit. Better that we make choices .. such as ... "I have been moping for days. I am not going to mope today. I am going to be 'up', look 'up', and act 'up' .. even if I don't feel 'up'. Then you give it a try .. and if you fail, you try again, and if you fail, you try again. You try with it being the 'forefront of your consciousness'. You smile .. a lot. You are kind to yourself and others. You are impressed with the beauty of snow, or sunshine, or rain. You have a fork in your road .. dispair to the left, vibrancy to the right. Shift your body to the right, and take a step. Do that every time you think of it .. and think of it often, .. a hundred times a day or more.

With that kind of 'energy, professional treatment and probably medication, you can get ahead of depression.

As much as that sounds good believe me it's not as easy, not when you have the amount of mental health problems I have.

Positive thinking only gets you so far....

Are you on meds?

I was, when they ran out i stupidly thought id be fine without them, but clearly not, I am so stubborn its like i want to tackle it alone. but clearly that isn't a good thing to do.
When I was on them they took of the edge but didnt make me feel like they did a lot.

don't think yourself stupid... LOTS of people get off meds too soon... for example, ME...

i wish i could get one kind of med to deal with all my problems, seems like meds deal with this or that but never both.

I suffer from depression, anxiety, ocd and i think i am co-dependant, Is there something out there that deals with all these?

Hi

I too have problems with motivation. No big answer...sometime I just have to make myself get dressed and get out of the house. I also understand the never ending cycle thing..we are at two totally different times of our lives, but gosh darn...so much of what you wrote hit home. I ride a roller coaster of life and want to get off. We will find an answer.. Good Luck Write me if you need to!!!

Aww thanks, it is so refreshing to know, that I am not alone, but you would think with so many people suffering, there would be some sort of answer, something that could end this vicious cycle and rollercoaster we are in...I just wanna get off, I have suffered since the age of 14/15, being 28 now, all my adult life has been affected. Really sucks.

hey, i can tell your obviously older than me, but i just wanted to tell you, if you really need support, just hold your kids and just feel the love thats there. i have a two year old brother and when he hugs, everything just seams to stop for the moment, and it gives me a break from reality. i know everything still there when thats over, but itll give you just a second to relax. you have 2 childreen that are gonna love you unconditally and eventually be there for you when you need them 24/7 just like they need you know. you have soo much to look forward too with them, i wish i had something like that. just to help me get through the days.. but i really hope things work out for you and your kids.

thanks for that :) sometimes i put them in my bed just to hug up to them especially when im lonely....it does give a little relief....one day you will have a family too, you are still so young. Thanks for commenting.