I'm a married 20 something who has been struggling with depression and anxiety for years. I'm finally realizing that the "close family" I thought I had as a child was was actually pretty dysfunctional and messed up. Both my sibling and I struggle with mental illness, and I don't think that's a coincidence... I think a lot of it was how we were raised.

My mom is very loud and overbearing and has made hurtful jokes/comments about me throughout my life. She makes fun of the fact that I'm sensitive and thinks I'm lazy because I sleep a lot (like many with depression do). The last time my husband and I went to visit, my mom saw me tear up and said, "You're not going to CRY again are you?"  I've tried to explain to her calmly that her words hurt but whenever I confront her she just says, "that's who I am." As you can imagine, with that attitude she has very few friends. She is very volatile and would go from yelling at me one minute to telling me how much she loved me the next minute. It was so confusing to grow up like that... no wonder I worry all the time and feel so unstable. 

My dad is emotionally aloof and whenever I would tell him how depressed I was as a teenager, he would tell me to just "try harder." I lost a ton of weight when I was a teenager and I remember him taking one look at me and saying, matter-of-factly, "you're starving." It's like he didn't even care and he was just stating a fact, like I wasn't his daughter but some random person on the street. I'm married now and he recently told my husband, "If you ever need anything, you can talk to me. It's really hard being around someone with depression." This was so hurtful to me, because it makes me feel like even more of a burden. 

Does anyone have any similar experiences with dysfunctional families? How do you move past all the hurt and resentment?