I have been suicidally depressed for almost two years. I hate myself at the moment but am working on it. Well, a few months back a woman crosses my path. She pursued me and was all over me like a bad suit. I thought she was going to be my savior and rescue me from this miserable existence.

She made all kinds of promises and even talked about me getting her pregnant and getting married after two weeks of knowing her. In the back of my mind I knew this person was bad news, but I continued on because I am so lonely and any kind of diversion is a welcome one. My self esteem is crap and in my mind I felt like she would be the only woman who would have anything to do with me, because I am so depressed, unemployed, nearly homeless, etc. She said she totally understood and would be there for me. Well, as is always the case, she turned out to be full of hot air. She is a total flake and has left me hanging on several occasions with no apology. She rarely calls when she says she is going to.

I am blowing this way out of proportion. The whole thing is making me sick. This is definitely not someone I could see myself with long term any way, but my mind is still telling me I am a failure once again, and how nothing will ever work out. Her blowing me off like this has just added to the sense of hopelessness.

I don't know about you, but I have learned that me getting better has to take priority of everything. I am too emotionally sick to get into any kind of romantic relationship. That being said, this thing hurts sooooo bad! Talk about dissapointment:( Depression and anxiety has screwed up my thinking so bad.