Christina, you are in such a raw stage of grief. To lose two such significant people in the space of a year is way to hard to handle. Taking prescribed medication does not mean you are crazy, just treating a condition you did not choose. If a medical doctor prescribed a med for an infection, or a cast for a broken leg, would you refuse those? You have described what we all feel when depression takes charge. I am so sorry for your losses, but also hope you reconsider the meds. I think many of us are here because therapy is one hour a week, while depression can be 24/7. Family and friends can not relate to what we are going through, so we lean on each other here. Comforting hugs. Please stay with us.

You seem like a very nice person so I hope you find help and can work through the challenges in life. Having lived more than a half century, there are challenges, highs and lows, good and bad luck. I was bullied, had some tough times, but my son had a wonderful childhood, most popular kid in schools, sports captain, friends, girls, and it was wonderful seeing him experience all that, and I think things evened out.

Perhaps a few years from now, you will be happily married with children and thinking about the time you were in a bad place. While I am not saying those should necessarily be your goals, everyone has different ones, I would try to look for some goals - travel perhaps, and take some steps to work towards them.

It can be hard. Give yourself a break, as others have said, recognize the challenges you have faced. Try some of the things people have said about confronting depression and good luck and my prayers are with you.

Hi Christina,
I’m sorry you are having a tough time and feeling so alone. This group cares for you, so please keep on posting. I hope you will consider taking the medications, those were prescribed to help you feel well.

Coping with the loss of loved ones can be the hardest challenge anyone can face. My mother passed away 4 years ago and it was a difficult journey for me. I grieved for a year and until now whenever I remember her I still cry. I want to encourage you to grieve. Grieving is painful but necessary for you to cope and heal.

I pray that you will be comforted as you pass through this season. Take care and God bless.

Christina, I hope you will stick through this tough time.

I find it helps to talk to the deceased. Send loving, healing energy to their spirits. Whether you believe their spirits are around, it is still a good healing practice for yourself!

You can take your meds for now and talk to your doc about reducing them or stopping them later. Many people who don't usually take meds still take them in times of great distress! And that absolutely does not mean you are crazy! It means that life can be really, really hard sometimes and we need something to get us through.

Much love and support for you my friend <3

My thoughts and prayers for you..The grief of losing someone close never goes away, but does lessen with time. I'm not saying it's easy. I lost my Mom 30 years ago(sometimes it feels like just yesterday) and just lost my Dad last year. I feel our loved ones are always with us. I'm always talking to them.......

I know its hard. But dying doesnt fix it. It just gives it all to those you love. Here with an ear.

I know what you mean. 3 years ago, my parents divorced and within the next 3 months, my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and he died and my uncle was very close to dying. I was so depressed. I was so close to ending my life but I somehow had the strength to get help.
I too don't like taking my medication, but it helps me with my anxiety and it helps me to open up to my counselor and the people in my life. There is a possibility that I might be able to stop my medication.
I'm not saying that I don't have issues, I still have problems with self harming. I have the scars, but maybe someday you can look at those scars and say "I fell, but I got back up."

There never is a band aid for loss, grief can be overwhelming but you are loved. Have a look at the chicken soup for grieving souls book. But if you accept that even though you can't touch your loved ones or see them or feel their gentleness, know that spirit is infinite and always with you. Be strong, but most of all be gentle and kind to yourself. Taking care of yourself is great step in the right direction, and pray. Take care and tons of love to you