A few weeks ago, there several people made videos under the theme #Dearme. The posters were asked to address a video to their younger selves, usually around 13 years old. Most of the them were along the lines of believing in their dreams, ignore the bullies, etc. Mostly encouraging stuff.

I, on the other hand, wouldn't be so encouraging. Honestly, I would tell my younger self to end it right then and there. The blackness that was just a small seed at the time would never end. The suffering we experienced as a child would continue in a different form and never ever end. It would only grow regardless of what we did. Added to it, we would end up failures, all our hopes and dreams coming to naught. All the people around us would achieve some measure of success and we might even aid in it, before they would abandon and forget about us. Regardless of the choices we might make, all roads would lead to where I am now.; alone, afraid and forgotten with disorders that most people either think aren't real, serious or can be solved with a few pills and some couch time.

I would tell myself to use the money we got from recycling cans and go to the movies, followed by a cheeseburger and an extra large strawberry milkshake. Then, go home and end it, preferably in our sleep, which aside from fantasy, TV and books, we're are only escape. . Avoid the 30+ years of needless suffering. And maybe , just maybe He might let us in.