Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I'm always off on Wednesday. It's great for things like doc appointments and running errands but often (especially when it's all gross out like today) i just feel tired and depressed. I was in a bad mood when I got home from work last night and I will be until I go back to work tomorrow.
I had a good day at work yesterday. But I have to come home. I have a stressful mess to come home to every day. My mom treats me like a servant. I hate living with her and so does my fiance. He was talking about renting some place last night.
This just stresses me more. I have no idea how to do any of this stuff. We never have any money. Idk why he thinks we would have more money paying more bills? I've never rented anywhere but seems pretty stupid. I own my house and my farm. Both of which are 5 mins from work. My mom can't afford to live here by herself and I'm always broke.
I'm always miserable here. I feel like a prisoner. But being a prisoner is better than living somewhere awful and loud with bugs and thieves.
Minus the abuse, living with my ex was nice. I had a home. I had free reign of a nice big house. I could decorate and manage it how I wanted, eat when and what I wanted. I didn't have anyone to take care of.
Now I have 2 other people I have to cook and clean for. Neither one of them can cook and my mom is super picky. She won't eat healthy food. I can't afford to cook separate meals for myself. We live in the middle of nowhere. Gas is expensive. I think I might be happier in a town if I could get used to the noise. But I don't want to quit my job. It's easy and the best job I ever had. The pay would be fine if I didn't have my fiance. He costs me so much extra every month. Plus we both go to various doctors all the time and that costs.
I just wish I had a clear idea and felt safe and supported. I'm afraid to live alone with my fiance. I don't like the idea of signing a lease to live somewhere for a year that I might hate and not be able to pay for. Idk how much dif his behavior might be without my mom around. Or who might be in our house and steal my things. Would he continue to not help do housework or cooking? Would I be a servant and a prisoner there too? Would he start abusing me after he got me isolated there? It's just too much stress for me to think about and makes me so depressed.
Im depressed here too. My mom is so mean to me. She doesn't think i should go anywhere on my day off. She won't get off her ass and help out. She saves up all the cleaning for my day off and expects me to cook. I can't have people over, never have. Even if I do just want to rest for a day, I can't because she won't shut up nagging me. She expects dinner to be early every night. Lately I have refused because I've been sick and don't feel like eating. You can bet I got screamed at for that today. I also burned myself trying to cook. I didn't do anything but cook and clean today, yesterday, Sunday. It's like all they both do is make messes and not clean. No one seems to notice or care that I am sick, or ask about my tests and doc appointments I have every week. She can't leave the TV and he can't get off his phone and fantasy football. I'm so lonely and scared. I have 2 friends at work and idk what I would do if I didn't have them. I wish I knew how to get out of this hell.
Also, what do I do about transportation for him? He doesn't have his own car. I bought a new car last year and he drives it. I drive the old one. I live in the middle of nowhere. This is why I'm frustrated with his family. I don't have a way to contact any of them, despite me asking at the few family gatherings I've been to.
I can't just lock him out and expect him to walk somewhere in the cold. Also, again, not getting cops involved. Even tho I know several cops here, they got better things to do than give a ride to my fiance, who has not harmed me, and has nowhere he can be taken to.
Once you identify what you want, you can develop a plan of action to achieve those goals. So, what do you want?
And no, not all men are deadbeats. My son is 18, has worked a job since he was 16, and is paying his way throught college.
But you're not going to find a real man, as long as you've got your abusive boyfriend camped out at your house, driving your new car, while you drive your old car.
And why would he want to leave? You're paying for virtually everything.
But getting him out could be complicated. Thus my advice to connact the domestic violence shelter. No, you don't need a place to sleep. But they will be able to give you advice on how to get him out.