Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I'm always off on Wednesday. It's great for things like doc appointments and running errands but often (especially when it's all gross out like today) i just feel tired and depressed. I was in a bad mood when I got home from work last night and I will be until I go back to work tomorrow.
I had a good day at work yesterday. But I have to come home. I have a stressful mess to come home to every day. My mom treats me like a servant. I hate living with her and so does my fiance. He was talking about renting some place last night.
This just stresses me more. I have no idea how to do any of this stuff. We never have any money. Idk why he thinks we would have more money paying more bills? I've never rented anywhere but seems pretty stupid. I own my house and my farm. Both of which are 5 mins from work. My mom can't afford to live here by herself and I'm always broke.
I'm always miserable here. I feel like a prisoner. But being a prisoner is better than living somewhere awful and loud with bugs and thieves.
Minus the abuse, living with my ex was nice. I had a home. I had free reign of a nice big house. I could decorate and manage it how I wanted, eat when and what I wanted. I didn't have anyone to take care of.
Now I have 2 other people I have to cook and clean for. Neither one of them can cook and my mom is super picky. She won't eat healthy food. I can't afford to cook separate meals for myself. We live in the middle of nowhere. Gas is expensive. I think I might be happier in a town if I could get used to the noise. But I don't want to quit my job. It's easy and the best job I ever had. The pay would be fine if I didn't have my fiance. He costs me so much extra every month. Plus we both go to various doctors all the time and that costs.
I just wish I had a clear idea and felt safe and supported. I'm afraid to live alone with my fiance. I don't like the idea of signing a lease to live somewhere for a year that I might hate and not be able to pay for. Idk how much dif his behavior might be without my mom around. Or who might be in our house and steal my things. Would he continue to not help do housework or cooking? Would I be a servant and a prisoner there too? Would he start abusing me after he got me isolated there? It's just too much stress for me to think about and makes me so depressed.
Im depressed here too. My mom is so mean to me. She doesn't think i should go anywhere on my day off. She won't get off her ass and help out. She saves up all the cleaning for my day off and expects me to cook. I can't have people over, never have. Even if I do just want to rest for a day, I can't because she won't shut up nagging me. She expects dinner to be early every night. Lately I have refused because I've been sick and don't feel like eating. You can bet I got screamed at for that today. I also burned myself trying to cook. I didn't do anything but cook and clean today, yesterday, Sunday. It's like all they both do is make messes and not clean. No one seems to notice or care that I am sick, or ask about my tests and doc appointments I have every week. She can't leave the TV and he can't get off his phone and fantasy football. I'm so lonely and scared. I have 2 friends at work and idk what I would do if I didn't have them. I wish I knew how to get out of this hell.
It seems like your other option is to kick your mom and fiancee out. You mentioned that you own your house and farm. Your mom and fiancee are not contributing in any way and your fiancee is borderline abusive. Maybe it's time to free yourself of these toxic people.
Wishin you peace.
Im off Thursdays myself and just finished an extremely long and grueling depressive anxiety ridden overnight shifts. Thankfully they threw in Friday this week too so I get 2 off, and then another 5 long overnight shifts. I
It's important to take care of yourself. If being on your own is not an option then you may want to think of ways that you can be content within your current situation. There are always options.
Idk how I can be happy here.
Maybe if I can somehow by some miracle get rid of him then I can live at home for awhile and catch up on bills. Utilities should go down after he is gone to where maybe mom can pay them herself. I can sell my older car. Then maybe I could find some other place to live.
Idk sometimes I think there is something wrong with me like some sickness I have that compels me to constantly plan out ways to escape. My mom says I should be glad I have someone who wants to be with me. It just feels so wrong.
He was telling me some stuff the other night that he hates about his life and what he wants for a future. Clearly his plans don't involve me other than for financial support.
I had a nightmare last night that I got fired. I plan on being at my job for many years. It's a very prestigious job with lots of room to move up. My boss has told me I will move up about every 2 years, lots of people retiring soon, opening more positions. My job is easy and a good environment.
I think he is jealous. He seems to think I need to work at a higher paying job like a factory. I worked those types of jobs before and hurt my body. I couldn't do it.
He only works 3 to 4 days a week and won't get a second job, but expects me to quit mine to take care of him.
He says I just imagine that I am miserable and that I was much more miserable before. I don't see a difference. I'm still lonely, I'm still depressed, and I have a lot less money. I feel like I have no future and there is no point to anything.
My job will pay for me to further my education, has great benefits, and huge bonuses, plus a raise every year.
He just drags me down and so does she. I miss my dad. He would tell me exactly what to do and build me up and give me a reality check. But he is dead and all I have is his little brother. He doesn't have much authority in my family but he does his best to help me when he can. He told me he won't walk me down the aisle for this guy. Idk what to do I feel like I go in circles.
That means that ...yes, calling a shelter is an option.
If you chose to, you could get a restraining order against him. There are also social workers there that might help you with finding a better place for your mother to be, or aid you in taking care of her. I honestly don't know what all of your options could be...
Maybe just think about it, or tuck it into the back of your mind. The option to call is there if and only if you want it.
I think that's what happens with every guy. I'm so unhappy and down that they don't want to be around me so they cheat. I'm just not one of those shallow fake girls who doesn't think about things and pretends everything is happy and fine when it isn't.
I get my cat scan done tomorrow so maybe they can tell me why I'm in so much pain. I think all my tests will come back normal and i will just look crazy. I hate this depression. I can't think straight or make decisions.
If you know his game, you don't you just stop playing?
It's so frustrating why won't his stupid family do anything? They ignore me and have nothing to do with me and expect me to take care of him when we aren't married and it's a sin that we even live together. He would be homeless without me.
Another reason I don't leave is because I figure I am just stupid and don't know how to live. What he does is probably pretty normal right? I mean I put up with abuse from my ex because I thought it was normal and I deserved it.
I don't know how to do this. I can't leave. Why is that so hard to understand. It's my house where I pay bills. And I don't care how toxic my mother is, she gave birth to me and I'm the youngest. Who else is going to take care of her?
As far as him. I've tried. I don't want to get stabbed or have to shoot him. He always comes back.
I just want these tests over and a treatment plan so I can think clearly. If they say I'm sick because of an external source of stress maybe I can use that to convince him to leave. I've thought of trying to trick him into leaving by saying I need time to myself for my health to get better. Maybe he wouldn't flip out so bad that way. Just telling him we are breaking up, leave has not worked so far.
I still go in circles thinking it is me not him. I mean at least I have someone who sorta puts up with my mom and having to live with her. And my health issues.
But he never helps me with anything, just burdens me with more and more bad decisions.
I just want this pain to stop.
If you need help or support at any point, you contact a womens shelter for additional assistance and resources.