Welcome,lilymaria.

Depression is a sneaky sumbitch, yanno? I sometimes feel as though it crawls into my brain and reprograms it, making it do the exact opposite of what it could do to combat the depression and its symptoms.

In your case, the depression is talking and telling you to be disinterested in your hobbies, to isolate from friends, and to put off seeing your counselor.

Depression gives bad directions. I try to do a Jedi-mind trick and do the exact opposite of what depression tells me. This is called an "opposite to emotion" response, and it can be quite effective.

Feel like staying in bed? Get up. Feel like sleeping? Go for a walk? Feel like isolating? Call a friend and set up a simple coffee date.

And make an appointment to see your counselor, okay? Don't underestimate depression. It is a formidable opponent.

I know exactly how you feel. Remember that you are NOT alone. The only reason why get up in the morning, is because I look forward to my kids' phone calls. I went through a very tough divorce . My wife left me for someone else and since then, my depression has hit an all time low. I feel worthless and hopeless. I do know that , in time, things will get better, at least that is what I keep telling myself. If you should want or need to talk, I, as well as everyone on here, are here for you. I really do hope that you start feeling better.

Hello lilly
Im sorry to know youre going through a moment like that
and from what I can see , you been okay but your depression has come back in the last two weeks right
well , that might make you think it will never end , will always come back
its not true , you can put an end to it
but its not possible to do that by hiding away or ignoring
you must know what are the reasons for your depression
and sometimes when we get too tired of fighting or diving into those problems , we try to forget about them , the thing is , we forget about them but they dont forget about us
they not only continue to be there but keep growing bigger and stronger
and thats what you should be doing , not them .

you should start fighting
I believe youve tried that before
but did you believe in yourself ?? that you could get rid of them
cause if you didnt , all those tries were for nothing
carrying negativity inside you blinds you into believing youre not strong enough , it keeps you from seeing the better ways that you can take
so getting rid of negative thoughts is a huge step
once theyre gone , youll be able to see things from other angles
youll not only be more positive but will also find the solutions you want and the strength you need

your existence is very valuable and once you get rid of the negative/bad things in your head , youll be able to see it
and Im sure youll smile !!
but to get there you need to fight
fight as hard as you can and if you fail , dont lower your head
keep trying , failure is part of the process of gaining knowledge , conciousness and strength to keep on going till you finally make it.

and dont stop with the things you usually do
visit your friends , going to church , walking
dont let your depression get you down like that
fight it and get it down and lift yourself up

take care
and I hope my words can be of some use for you
Im here if u wanna talk

bye

so you probably aren't going to like this answer but here it is......

DO all that stuff you listed even though you have no interest in it

Do you mind my asking when was the last time you went to the doctor and had a physical? I don't know why but it sounds to me like there may be a thyroid condition going on. I don't know because I am not a doctor, but would love it if you would ask your doc to check it, if he hasn't already. In the meantime, I want to say how bad I feel for you. That devil is really getting around lately and we need to find a way to be rid of him for good! I know you don't have any interest in seeing your therapist, but I hope you will force yourself to at least do that.

Might just be cyclical...full moon or something...it'll pass!

I second the others, when you stop moving forward the hold is like quicksand and you sink further...

I find just moving and doing, getting up keeps me moving forward or at least treading water.

I think it is great that you reached out for support here, where people understand this depression monster. The advice was wonderful. doing opposite action. I need to take this advice myself.

Will you force yourself to call your doctor or your counselor tomorrow? Maybe that will get the ball rolling again in your favor.

You've gotten out of this funk before, so you will be able to again. Even though it feels like it - remember it won't last forever. Peace to you.

Trying to get my self back to my counilor her appointmet is on the 16th August she wants me to catch the train to see her, only an hour away but the thought of it scares me.my husband is willing to come down and pic me up, but I am in two minds about going.
I know I will feel better If I go back to chruch and confession confession makes me feel alive,
just have to make the effort to go to see my spiritual director and councillor I JUST WISH I WASNT SO TIED, it could be the diabetetices, also,
Thank you to every one for you positive comments ....its good to be here and know I am not shut up in in a black box even though I feel it
\