It is great to see you here, hun, but I am sorry for the reason. If you know you are crashing and not coping well, please, try to be in touch with your pdoc or therapist ASAP. If, by chance, you don't have either of those, maybe call a hotline, or get yourself to the ER.

I will go and read your post in crisis.. it breaks my heart to know you are suffering so much. Hang in...please, and take whatever steps you need to in order to stay safe. Hugs xx

I don't have a therapist and the doctor I have is impossible to get a hold of.

Just called the pharmacy and it turns out that she never did call in my meds. Hubby is currently on the phone with the pharmacy trying to get me a couple of days without a prescription.

Can you call the doc back and explain just how important the meds are and how much you need them? It irritates me that docs let this happen. Either way, I really hope you can get it straightened out, and that you can get your meds. Hug x

Got my meds!

I got a lot of chores done today and being busy has allowed my nerves to calm down a bit. I'm still fluctuating between being OK and being on the verge of another attack, and I still fear that I will not be able to sleep tonight.

While I was walking around the city, I started getting a lot of irrational fears and what if thinking. I get this massive fear like I am going to go insane or lose control of my body (like not being able to move my limbs or forgetting how to speak) which I don't even know is physically possible. I just keep telling myself it is irrational and i'm sure it is just a symptom of my OCD.

At the pharmacist, my hands started going numb which of course freaked me out for a second, but I was able to get over the rush of adrenaline. I'm just still very afraid that I am not in the clear yet and all of those feelings are just going to come rushing back.

I am actually feeling better currently, but it is off and on for right now. Currently, I am doing a lot of eating (thank goodness I can still eat. When I get too anxious, I can't and become severely ill.)

Thanks for being there. I still can use the support until I know I am not going to have another attack.

I'm heading to work in 15 minutes and am scared of having anxiety at work. I had nonstop anxiety yesterday and last night all though I did manage to get some sleep among the tossing and turning. Still very scared and not doing too well. Trying to fight this to the best of my ability while allowing the anxiety to run it's course. I so don't want to be like this again.

I have had really bad insomnia at times too, I know how maddening it can be. I will walk around all day, tears streaming down my face and not particularly upset about anything, just exhausted beyond sanity.

So, get in to see a doctor as soon as possible. Go to the emergency room if you need to. If you have to wait another day to see a doctor, take some over-the-counter sleeping pills. Not a dangerous amount, but enough to get some sleep. Right now your thinking is strongly impaired by lack of sleep.

Try not to pay too much attention to scary thoughts. Remember that you're just having a bad trip and it will come to an end.

I'm glad you got your medication.

I didn't sleep for over a week once, it was totally bizarre and definetly has big effects on your mood and anxiety.

I think til you feel better, try and make the world as good a place as you can - if that means staying in watching films you want to watch and eating ice cream, do it! There is no point in putting yourself in situations you know in your state will hurt you. You are a kind and good person and you will get better.

Sometimes I have similar thoughts, sometimes and I know this sounds stupid I worry I will lose control of myself esp. around trains or cars when I'm down, when I'm happy it sometimes feels like I am exerting a lot of control not to pirotte around (these are really rare days and I actually find being uncontrolably happy like that more frightening than depression). I don't have OCD, but I would imagine it is a lot to do with control? Not in a negative way, but in a way that you need to have everything okay, I have a friend with severe OCD and psychosis and sadly, he is happiest (wrong word, but can't think of another) making sure that his space is safe (sadly this means doing very odd things as a result of the psychosis)

Just take care of yourself, be safe and I really hope you feel better soon.

Dukkha- I was once hospitalised when I was 17 and I did not get so much as a blink of sleep in 12 days. I think you describe a lot of what I am going through with losing control. When I get anxious, my OCD will go overboard making me think I am going to do crazy things which I have no desire to do.

Well, I currently have my medicine and also got a prescription for trazodone to help me sleep tonight. I am also with my parents currently. I am drowsy and am hoping that panic won't keep me up tonight.

I ended up being sent home from work today simply because both my boss and my coworkers could tell that something was wrong. My boss confronted me and asked what was wrong and I told him for the first time that I have panic attacks, and he was beyond understanding. Terrific guy.

I am really cycling back and forth between just being a tad bit nervous to being in near hysterics.

My biggest fear is that I am going to stay this way. In my past, I used to suffer from panic attacks daily and I feel like i've just went back to the way I was and that I am never going to get rid of these attacks and am going to stay this way. I know this thinking is what is causing me to have more attacks, but I just feel like I have completely relapsed into my old self and that I will find no relief.

Well, I managed to get a great deal of sleep last night, which helped a lot. I'm feeling better for the time being, but am still afraid that I have deteriorated to the way I once was and that I am not going to be without anxiety again for up to months or a year.