Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I noticed the date and was reminded that it was almost finals time at my college alma mater. I didn't particularly like it. As I told people, I just take/took classes there. I did well in my classes, but hated when my classmates would use big fancy words in lengthy answers to say the simplest things that would impress the professors and confuse me. Only one professor barred it and punished them for it (I'd start a scholarship in his name if I had the money). So maybe that's why I did what I did.
Around finals time,for the time I was there, the computer network would crash. No one knew why, not even the computer consultants. No one noticed me slipping out of the computer lab, finished term papers in hand. "Boy, I'm glad I finished in time." I had learned early on that the simple act of rapidly switching on and off my computer would cause the whole network to crash. This was in the early days of it, so I doubt it would work now. Yes, I thought it was coincidental at first, but a few crashes late at night confirmed it. The results? Well, I was/am technically considered a good writer (I say technically as I have little creativity). So, I did well. The others? It's hard to write a paper using unnecessary complicated words, phrases, etc, in a short amount of time, especially when you fail to save it to a disk ( I saved every 5 minutes. and knew how to save to the mainframe and archive).
It was only much later on did it dawn on me what I may have done. By crashing the network, I didn't just hurt my classmates, but everyone at the college. Someone might have been writing a paper or doing an engineering project, lost it, failed the class and everything changed for them. They may have had an inspiration that was lost. As a student of history, I know the smallest act can have large repercussions. So, do I feel guilty and ashamed for what I did? Yes and no. I know I'm guilty, although I don't feel it. My mind tries to block such emotions. So I don't feel ashamed either. Emotions don't and shouldn't enter it at all. However, I am guilty and I am sorry. I know what I did was wrong and would make restitution for it if I could, but it's years ago and too late to do that.All I can do is acknowledge it and apologize.
Around finals time,for the time I was there, the computer network would crash. No one knew why, not even the computer consultants. No one noticed me slipping out of the computer lab, finished term papers in hand. "Boy, I'm glad I finished in time." I had learned early on that the simple act of rapidly switching on and off my computer would cause the whole network to crash. This was in the early days of it, so I doubt it would work now. Yes, I thought it was coincidental at first, but a few crashes late at night confirmed it. The results? Well, I was/am technically considered a good writer (I say technically as I have little creativity). So, I did well. The others? It's hard to write a paper using unnecessary complicated words, phrases, etc, in a short amount of time, especially when you fail to save it to a disk ( I saved every 5 minutes. and knew how to save to the mainframe and archive).
It was only much later on did it dawn on me what I may have done. By crashing the network, I didn't just hurt my classmates, but everyone at the college. Someone might have been writing a paper or doing an engineering project, lost it, failed the class and everything changed for them. They may have had an inspiration that was lost. As a student of history, I know the smallest act can have large repercussions. So, do I feel guilty and ashamed for what I did? Yes and no. I know I'm guilty, although I don't feel it. My mind tries to block such emotions. So I don't feel ashamed either. Emotions don't and shouldn't enter it at all. However, I am guilty and I am sorry. I know what I did was wrong and would make restitution for it if I could, but it's years ago and too late to do that.All I can do is acknowledge it and apologize.
I don't mean to make you feel bad. It's just my opinion.