Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I was very sick for the past year and a half, and during that time i developed very severe clinical depression. I kinda cut everyone out including my husband without really knowing what I was doing. I just didnt want to burden him with all my problems and one night he told me he was very unhappy, which I completely understood. Because I had anxiety and depression my mind, after that, just shut off. It was as if I couldnt take anymore stress or hurt. Well, we managed to somewhat work through all of that, but my depressed mind keeps holding on to it like a virus that I cant get rid of and it makes me question if we are really meant to be together. I this wouldve happened before I got sick I wouldve been able to handle it, work through it, and get over it. Before I got sick everything seemed ok and I never questioned anything. I just lived life.
Well, tonight my best friend and I went out of town for a few hours and everything was awesome. I felt great and wasnt questioning anything, just enjoying myself and excited to show my husband the things we I had gotten for our bedroom.
On the way home I asked my best friend(who is my husband's sister) if she thought me and my husbad were good together and she said "well you guys are good together, but you have some things to work on, like communication"
We used to tell each other everything and communicate all the time. I always thought he was my soulmate. Now I feel like an asshole for not communicationg for that time period when we have been together for almost fourteen years. How can a year and a half of depression and anxiety completely tear your life apart? And how do you go back form that? I feel like my life went completely down the tubes and now I cant go back never, ever again.
My heart sank and I could feel a little panic coming on after she said that. Now Im back to questioning everything again and now I think that he deserves someone better than me who wont treat him how I treated him. Now I feel all down and sad again from just a comment, a comment I wouldnt have freaked out about a year and a half ago.
Well, tonight my best friend and I went out of town for a few hours and everything was awesome. I felt great and wasnt questioning anything, just enjoying myself and excited to show my husband the things we I had gotten for our bedroom.
On the way home I asked my best friend(who is my husband's sister) if she thought me and my husbad were good together and she said "well you guys are good together, but you have some things to work on, like communication"
We used to tell each other everything and communicate all the time. I always thought he was my soulmate. Now I feel like an asshole for not communicationg for that time period when we have been together for almost fourteen years. How can a year and a half of depression and anxiety completely tear your life apart? And how do you go back form that? I feel like my life went completely down the tubes and now I cant go back never, ever again.
My heart sank and I could feel a little panic coming on after she said that. Now Im back to questioning everything again and now I think that he deserves someone better than me who wont treat him how I treated him. Now I feel all down and sad again from just a comment, a comment I wouldnt have freaked out about a year and a half ago.
Suggest you do talk with Hubby about the way you feel. Yes, it does feel like we are unloading our burdens on our mate, but I do believe that's part of the commitment of marriage. Share with him what you feel. He may feel unhappy because he feels distant from you.
Depression takes time to heal. It depends on the person, whether the individual is taking meds and getting therapy; all these factor in to how soon the depression lifts.
Be gentle with yourself and concentrate on communicating more with Hubby and sharing this with him, and don't base your self worth on what another person says or thinks. I think you're gonna be just fine. Sharing this illness with Hubby, if he is desiring to be closer to you, I think will go a long way in helping you to get better soon.
Good Luck and Best Wishes!
(((Hugs)))
Look at it this way, illness takes a toll on marriage. Whether it's cancer, Alzheimer's or depression, our spouses have to deal with it. That's what the "in sickness and in health" phrase means in our marriage vows.
You have depression and it affects behavior. Simple as that. It's not a personality flaw; it's an illness. You are not an asshole for not communicating.
Finally, as somebody who has been married for over 25 years, I can tell you there is probably not ONE marriage that couldn't benefit from better communication. That's probably the number one issue in every marriage, regardless of any health problems that are involved. Women and men just communicate very differently. And as charliegirl says, there are some things husbands can't fix (which drives them crazy).
Even though you've been with your husband for 14 years, you're only 29, so you've basically grown up with him. As long as you both really love each other, you will get through this, and learn more about how to communicate and support each other.