You know Mom's are just human's with a really big job. They all aren't stamped out of this special mold where they can automatically cook great, no how to bake perfect cookies, can handle any conflict and always love their children know matter what and are always compassionate and great listeners.....basically they aren't all June Cleaver. Dang I could have just said that!

Your mom is who she is, and you are who you are, the two of you may not have personalities that mesh well together, she may have had a beast for a mom who was mean to her and never taught her the important skills of caring, compassion, love and getting along with people. At 48, if you and your mom haven't figured out how to get along yet, odds are you probably aren't going to. At this point you guys just need to figure out how to peacefully co-exist. You need to find someone else to be the one who's compassionate and caring for you when you need that. Cuz if your mom's in her 60's the odds of her changing are like .25%.

You get to do with your daughter what I got to do with my sons. You get to teach her the exact opposite of the way your mom treated you, you get to show her the right way to be a parent, you get to be kind, and loving, and caring, and teach her respect, compassion, community, love and how to be a good and kind person who thinks of others, not just herself. That's what you do as a mom, it doesn't matter what your mom did.

Hell my mom used to walk around and scream at us all the time, or just slap us upside the head for no reason, or beat us with a belt, or ignore the fact that our dad was molesting us. My mom would get picked up by the cops several times a month and we'd have to get up out of bed and go stay at a neighbors. We were dirt poor and got treated like crap. You know what that taught me..What kind of parent not to be if I ever had a child. And I have 2 outstanding Sons, who've done nothing but made me proud over and over again.

So screw what your mom did or does, teach and love your daughter the right way. And when it comes to communications with your mom, keep it light and avoid confrontation, if she gets wound up, just say, sorry mom, I have an appt. to go to, and leave. You don't need to listen to that crap anymore.

Take care,
Kat

Thank you Kat. I think that is good advice. I will try my best. I also have three boys. And your right I should focus on the fact that the kids really good kids and being there for them when they need me. I want to encourage them and enjoy them getting married one day and getting to see my future grandchildren for the first time. Hope you have a joyful holiday.

Thank you very much for your response. I would like to make new and more positive friendships.. I also joined a support group that meets once a week and will be seeing a counselor at least once a month. Hope you and your family have a joyful holiday.