So I'm dealing with weird feelings, but I don't really like talking about them to anyone. My friend told me roughly six or seven months ago I should talk to someone about it cause he said I was actin funny, but I just stayed home. I don't really like opening or and I really don't like doctors/therapists. Anyway, it's starting to really affect me so hopefully someone can help me out here. So I've had a lot of stuff going on, especially lately. I moved away from my parents cause they were hurting me too much, both physically and by keeping me stuck in the house. I got rid of that problem by going in on an apartment with friends, I didn't want to really but my friend told me to/did most of the work. So everything hasn't gone bad, a lot of stuff has gone supposedly well since then. But now, even before moving, in fact I would say a few times a year I feel just really really terrible about everyone and everything, including myself. Before, I had a reason to feel that way, it would be really really bad. But I'd thought it'd be better if I got rid of some of that bad stuff happens. I've been going through one of those moments for about a month and a half now. I just hate myself and everything about myself so much, I can't barely get anything done I just feel both void and angry and sad at the same time which must make no sense. Sometimes I feel so so awesome and that's cool, sometimes i feel ok, not really upset or excited, but no matter I know I am just a failure, cause even when I feel that great my friend says I really can be a pain(were honest with each other about everything, he's the only person I really connect with). But right now I just feel so so awful I can barely stand to even breathe. I don't want to do anything at all anymore sometimes. I guess I shouldn't feel this way. Is there a way to feel better? (Sorry for the essay.)