hello hello. Hi dailystrength community. It’s a lot but I am glad to be back.

i think I’ve hit a depressive episode lately and I’ve had an extremely difficult time not shaming myself and not being where I’d like to be. 

I lost my job a couple months ago. Financially things have hit a wall. I’ve disconnected from relationships that I’ve not been able to have a healthy relationship and communication with. Family is a source of toxicity and unhealthy connection. I’ve had to lower my expectations to find a job for survival purposes but it’s made me feel embarrassed and ashamed but it’s really what I think what others would want for me that is pressing me. I went through a rough patch last week with my sibling who has untreated bipolar depression and I had zero support from my mother at the time. 

I’m coming back to therapy because I really have no healthy outlet to cope and heal from all this insanity of life. I went back on my Zoloft so I still have ways to feel solid. I am making moves to make money and move out of my parents place but there is so much negative that has overwhelmed the positives that it has built a lot of fear of leaving my parents with my bro. My relationship with beliefs and God is something I’ve always stuck with but I strongly believe I’ve hit a point of make changes or just perish with my old coping habits n beliefs. 

I don’t want to hurt myself because it’s not the way but I also know that I’ve been brought back here and it’s great. My minds been so overwhelming and overloaded. Everything feels like a chore n my emotions just saturated with shame and unhealthy thinking.

I am used to much And I think too much and feel too much. This is a place to start to heal n work with self esteem and confidence.