Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Christmas

nightfire
nightfire

yesterday should of been nice, family and gifts, but im 3 months in on a separation and all i wanted and want is the opertunity to show that ive changed and am willing to go 110% into the relationship. i recently read i love you, but i dont trust you, a book that in ways has shown me the hurt ive caused, though the day she left all the hurt i caused came crashing down on my head and for the first time i saw it clearly, the book also showed me ways to heal us, i sent my wife the book in hopes she would start reading it. in short my servire depression has me to the point that i barely do anything in a days time other than look after my father which i do pretty much all day long for 6 days a week, sometimes 7. i end up doing basically nothing, its like my lifes on hold till i hear the beautiful words of yes we can try again from my wife.

RPK82
RPK82
I feel your hurt. My husband left 3 months ago and I hope and pray every day for a 2nd chance to prove I've changed and am committed. The waiting game is torture, so try to keep faith and take care of yourself in the meantime. Some days will be easier than others, just stay the course. I hope everything turns out for you.
patti22
patti22
Looking back, I can see that the "shoulds" in life tormented me, often even more than the situation did.


As for "why" she left? Things are not always the way people state that they are.

How about letting HER own her own decision to leave...instead of blaming yourself? Maybe she's the one that will look back in 5-10 years and realize what she lost?

Consider too...that it's just possible, that you'll now be free to meet someone who will be a real love in your life.

Gentle hugs, I know it hurts, Patti
nightfire
nightfire
thank you both, though i dont want a 5-10 year thing, i want that chance to show how comited i am, if then things arent good then ill let go, but i just want that chance, even if i may not deserve it
gregsbaby
gregsbaby
Are you in marriage counseling? Have you thought of that option? Are there kid(s) involved?

It's rough but don't beat yourself up all day/everyday because that's not healthy/good for either one of you Try to find something to keep busy.

I believe in second chances as I did with my bf (now fiance). I hope you get your second chance! Keep your head up!
nightfire
nightfire
Can't do coinciding right now as she's living in another state due to her not able to afford living here and no I just have a step daughter that lives not far from me, I assume it's hard on her and the thing is this would be past my second chance, I just wish I got all this way back then
gregsbaby
gregsbaby
Oh boy that's a toughie since it's not a second chance. I can only speak for myself and that's I'm a very forgiving person, however if after the second chance you can't see the error of your ways and vow to never do it again (whatever it is) yet do it again then that's a wrap!

If by chance she doesn't forgive you again chalk it up to a learning experience so you don't do it again to another relationship. Good luck!
Cora_Belle
Cora_Belle
Wow! You sure have big brass ones, don't you?

Your wife leaves you because you continued inappropriate online relationships with other women, despite her repeated requests that you stop the hurtful behavior. And then, instead of honoring her requests to give her time and space to figure things out, you send her a book read!!

It is not up to HER to repair or "heal" the damage YOU inflicted on the marriage relationship.



You still just don't understand that YOUR thinking only of what you want - your selfishness - drove her away and continues to keep her away.

"all i wanted and want is the opertunity to show that ive changed and am willing to go 110% into the relationship". Then quit talking about it and DO IT. Show her you have changed by respecting her wishes, by thinking about her needs for once, by accepting real accountability and responsibility for what happened in your relationship and by quit repeating the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place i.e. thinking only of yourself.

In the numerous posts about your situation, I don't recall ever reading even what your wife wants or needs, only your wants and needs. A relationship based on such selfishness is doomed for failure...