A friend just sent me the following message: I don't know how to tell you this, but the cancer is back, and I only have a few months left. I love you kiddo." I am now reliving all the friendships I lost due to this horrible f...ing disease. My friend Dancer, who had her funeral videotaped so we could all be there. Jane, whose last words to me where " stop crying...I'm not done fighting", whose fiancee sat at my kitchen table...lost and crying. Brenda...who was a mother to me when I needed one. And of course my mother and cousin.I am in a very bad place today. Feeling such hopelessness.