Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hey guys,
I could use some words of encouragement. I can't stop crying about my romantic life right now. I love my boyfriend lots, but we haven't been able to have sex yet. I have a history of sexual abuse, and haven't had sex since I was young.
As a result, it's hard for us to get there. We cope with it by being physical in other ways but it still bothers me. It bothers him too. I think he's worried we'll never have sex, but I think I just need time and comfort.
Also, im in graduate school and thinking about staying in the area once I graduate next year, but he says it would hurt him if I stayed here just for him. Yet, him saying that hurts me because I don't want to leave him. Anybody have any uplifting thoughts?
As for intimacy, start with small things. Let’s say experiement with just neck up. And maybe until you’re comfrotable with that, go sternum up, and once you’re comfortable there, belly and up. And keep going from there! Start below the belt with no penetration. Maybe just kisses. Take it slow. Make sure communication is clear. If needed have him ask you whenever he wants to move/change from what you’re doing.
Just take it slow. It will be rough, but you will make it my love
and if you are suffering from that sexual abuse, you probably need psychological therapy for it ... whether you are able to have sex or not. Such abuse can have far reaching negative effects ... and whatever is going on (or not going on) with your sex life can very well be connected to the abuse.
I suggest you seek sex abuse counseling ... being sure to mention your current 'difficulty' if that is what it is ... a difficulty.