Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I can't keep living this way. My depression has always been very hard to handle. Even on meds in the past it seemed not many helped. I've had worse episodes than this before, but this one is a very long drawn out one. I'm starting to wonder if I have some sort or mood or personality disorder. I am so up and down. When I'm distracted, such as at work, tho I may be stressed, I am much happier. I have 4 days off a week because I work 3 12 hour shifts. Those off days are killer. By the end I start to think I'm losing it. I'll cry for a stupid reason, panic out of no where, go completely numb I suspect in an attempt to repress my feelings, become angry and feel abandoned. Saying find a hobby is difficult for me bc it's winter and frankly I'm sick of doing things alone all the time. One hobby won't keep me occupied for 4 straight days. I'm not sleeping well. I feel like I have no control and no one to turn to. Obviously my issues have a genetic component as they've been present since a very young age. Yet no one in my family seems willing to discuss any issues they may have. It's their business, but I would gladly share my experiences if it helped any one of them.
As some background im currently working a night shift schedule which is wrecking me and there is no way out for about a year. My parents are divorcing after 29 years of marriage. I live alone. Can't seem to find a relationship let alone friends. The ones I have literally don't know what to say when I get like this. It makes them uncomfortable. I haven't been out socially besides a couple dates I literally forced myself on in I don't know how long. And as a disclaimer I am seeing a therapist once a week and finally giving in to see a psychiatrist. I just can't handle this much longer. It's making me physically sick at this point. I'm so anxious and stressed not knowing what to do or how to fix it. Control issues much? Anyways, just needed to vent. I'm alone and exhausted and so sad.
I understand the relationship thing tho. My ex and I both have depression. He dealt with his differently than I did mine and eventually I think that's what tore us apart. He couldn't handle both. Hang in there.
Strikes me, you don't need to keep busy for 4 days straight. you only need 1 or 2 days in the middle there used up and quite frankly there will be SOME kind of animal protection society there that you can volunteer at. There will. And animals are delicious. And it's easier to interact with other people when you're holding a kitten. Life becomes better.
So that's one day a week. Boom. You don't have to make it your career. It just has to be a thing to look forward to to stop you going lala on day 3.
I've done the lala thing. I personally believe in confronting and pushing on through and 'making it as bad as possible' just to speed it up but then I was trained on chiropractic, where you go in there with a bad back and they poke, and they squeeze, and they rip through the muscles (the bone adjustments don't hurt) to loosen ligaments so brutally that you have two weeks of agony slammed into one minute and then you're out the door feeling fantastic. I used to joke that if my chiro didn't make it in his chosen field there was a job waiting for him at Guantanimo Bay. - I went to one of those deep tissue massages a while ago, the guy pointed to a sign on the wall that said not to be worried if I experienced muscle pain. Muscle pain bollocks, that pansy needed five minutes with my chiropractor.
sorry. back on track. Poke and prod the wound. You have been given these 4 day stints to replicate symptoms and perform some experiments. So start performing them. Watch yourself. Investigate yourself. Review yourself. How cranked up are you getting? 3 days later do you think you were overreacting? How are you feeling on these days, what are your thoughts?
Are your thoughts valid? Are they thoughts you can grow out of?
Everyone forgets maturation. But maturation has to keep going. And maturation is what you have to find a way to do to get through the depression. You have to grow your way out of it so that although you're experiencing the same thing, it's tiny in comparison to monster-size you, and you don't notice or care.
It's hard to explain. But what you have here is an opportunity. It's not a curse, it's an opportunity. It's the best thing that ever happened to you.
So how do you make it the best thing that ever happened to you?
There's the challenge.