I started suffering from severe anxiety in Feb. 2011 and i lasted for about 9 months and then after the anxiety subsided somewhat I began having what was diagnosed as clinical depression which I am on prozac for. When I was really bad I had this thought pop into my head that I didnt love my husband of 13 years anymore and it seemed as if my mind just ran away with it. It seems as if the depression goes in cycles. I will feel normal for a couple week and then I will start to feel depressed again although the thought is always in the back of my head but for some reason I dont give it much credit when i feel ok. But when i feel depressed that is the first thing that comes back is "whats the point, he loves you so much and you cant even love him back" and it really upsets me. I want to know if anyone experienced these feelings with depression and how did it work out because its almost making me believe this stupid crap. I have been dealing with this for almost 6 months and Im almost afraid to love because I feel like my heart keeps getting broken over and over without my control.
Its super sad because whenever he comes home from work I get anxious and I feel all over the place because Im trying to distract myself form feeling this way and as soon as I relax, there it is again. but like i said when i feel ok i dont think too much about it. everybody tells me not to believe the depression, but it is so believable. And when I feel like this all i want to do is hide under a rock and never come out and that is partly why i feel anxious. i want to be alone but when im alone all i do is think and then when im with poeple all i wanna do is be alone. Oh yeah and I also have OCD and a prolactinoma(hormone imbalance).....