Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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SBoom 02/17/2008

I always hate these days, when I am beginning to climb back up again out of the pit. I should be happy that my energy is gradually returning. I should be happy that I got up without much struggle this morning. But I'm not. Every time I am at this point, the first steps of the climb back up, I feel so much worse.. does that make any sense? It's hard to describe. I'm not down in the pits of depression anymore, I'm climbing back up.. but it feels just as bad as being down there. I feel like I am fooling myself because I can't actually be ok. I also feel guilty about being able to climb back up, because some people can't. I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to feel better because I'm supposed to be depressed. I feel guilty when my affect does not match my label. I know it is stupid. I know it doesn't make any sense. But I can't get myself to stop feeling stupid and guilty and bad when I start to get better....

deleted_user 02/17/2008

I understand what ou mean. For me being depressed is so familiar that it is scary to not be that way. I also always believe that any happiness/feeling better is going to be short lived. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

deleted_user 02/17/2008

I totally understand! Try to push yourself to the next step, because you know it's better out of the darkness than in. Good luck to you.

deleted_user 02/17/2008

It makes perfect sense. When I am feeling good I feel like some thing is wrong because it doesn't come naturally for me. I have lived with depression for so long if it isn't there it just doesn't feel right. Sad, but true. Don't feel like your alone in this because your not. Take a hold of the good times and hold on tight, enjoy.

deleted_user 02/17/2008

it is freaky but it is worth it to keep fighting it for the good days. please keep climbing hun!

deleted_user 02/17/2008

I agree with SammisMom, when you start to feel better, you get frightened because you are so much more used to the darkness and the depression. But, as someone that has been struggling with depression for a long time, I have to say ... that feeling is not something that stays forever. Stay strong, I know you can do it.

deleted_user 02/17/2008

I find it scary knowing I am climbing out of the depression and I could plummet back into it. Its the trying to stay positive that works for me.

chelle37 02/17/2008

(((hugs))) I think it makes sense, like others have said it becomes familiar, and like you at least know what to expect. When you start to get better you don't know if it's going to last. I think the guilt over feeling better is something you need to explore with yourself. Why do you think you don't deserve to be happy?

deleted_user 02/17/2008

I know I have not told the full story about what has happened to me and have also told the cpn what I think I want her to hear. I feel guilty about doing this and the old me thinks I should be punished for lying.

deleted_user 02/17/2008

I understand. But whether a person has depression or not, life is a series of ups and downs, once we accept that about life, it's easier to enjoy the good times, without wondering when the other shoe will drop.

The other shoe will drop eventually, so don't worry about it...:)

Sometimes I think we get used to the depression too, not that we want it, but that it becomes comfortable.

I hate that feeling that mood swings can be beyond my control, sure I feel great, confident, present well, but I don't know when that will fall apart....

please don't feel all alone.

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