What you did is called "Honesty" and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you aren't self absorbed or narcissistic which I doubt very much that you are. Honesty is a good trait but there will be people who are offended by that. Part of life.

Good question. And one that I would probably make me hate myself if I answered it honestly. So I'm going to go to sleep now instead.

Although I will say that almost everyone is probably attractive to someone, so it can all work out in the end. I know that I've found some people attractive and all my friends were like, "You can't be serious . . . "

Not exactly what you are talking about, but a little relevant nevertheless. No one is ugly to everyone.

I know plenty of attractive people who are unbelievably insecure, SBoom. I think it goes much deeper than surface things. (And no, you don't sound full of yourself at all.)

In fact, some of the MOST damaged and insecure people I've known are very good looking by society's standards.

I think feeling comfortable with yourself has more to do with your world view, your true abilities, and your general self-esteem, than anything else. It's also probably a complex area mentally that I'm not qualified to comment on (having to do with guilt, having violent tendencies, or other personality disorders, etc.)

I've always been relatively comfortable with who I am. This bugs the piss out of some people. But that's their problem, not mine.

It also waxes and wanes lately, depending on my depression.

Hugs for your candour, sweetie.

Oh, and PS---I am able to find beauty in a lot of unexpected places; I'm with you there, friend!

I think societal "good looks" are way overrated.

I find people who others would find completely unappealing to be very very attractive in the looks department and I find people who others find drop dead gorgeous to be uglier than a mud fence. It's all about what appeals to each individual.

I find myself to be "ok" in the looks department overall. I have days where I look at myself and say "yikes" and days where I look at myself and say "dang, you look good today".

:)

I honestly think if I were better looking, like if I were 6'3 and built like a NFL strong safety, I thinkk I wouldn't be as empathetic as I am.

It's that uncertainty and fear in myself that allows me to see it others.

I think if everything had gone perfectly for me in my life I'd just be a spoiled, self-absorbed jerk who would learn their life lesson later rather than earlier.

I also hate being gorgeous.

AbsoluteZero - what you're describing is a lot of what I am struggling with.

The difference is that i AM empathetic, i AM a caring person, and i DO give a shit about other people than myself.

But I feel selfish and stupid when I am depressed because, as far as society is concerned, I really have no reason to be. I'm young, I'm pretty, I do well in school, I've got a future ahead of me, and I grew up in a loving home with a generally happy childhood (w/ the exception of being bullied at school)

So.. actually... if you WERE a 6'3" super hot football player with a "perfect" life, no.. that doesn't mean you'd be happy and it doesn't mean you would be a self-absorbed, uncaring, spoiled brat..

What I'm trying to talk about here is something entirely different. I'm talking about self-esteem and how much of it is related to our outward appearance. I try my best and generally I do believe I do a good job, to let my pride lie in my accomplishments and the things i DO and who i AM rather than what I look like... but I often wonder whether I would be as confident as I am, or accept myself as much as I do, if I were NOT attractive. I don't love myself BECAUSE I am attractive, and I am not confident in who I am solely on the basis of the fact that I am attractive - in fact, it's the last thing on my list of shit I am proud of, really - but I wonder how much of my self-image is stronger than it would otherwise be if I were overweight or "ugly" by society's standards. And what I am saying is I think I would be a liar if I didn't say "a good chunk."

And just to clarify, I'm NOT a perfect 10 bombshell or anything like that - I'm not super hot or bla bla bla - and I hope it hasn't been coming across like that. I'm pretty much on the pretty side of average. What I mean by "if I were less attractive" is if I were, rather than being fairly average and attractive to those whose taste I suit, NOT average.. how would I feel about myself if I were LESS than AVERAGE in the looks department, according to society's starndards?

this is completely a matter of perception....

for many (like myself) that perception is based on much more than a reflection in a mirror.

people tell me i'm beautiful....but i do, is twist that in my head. like they're just doing it to be nice or try to make me feel better.

i think, for me, this all stems back to my childhood. i had a cousin that i spent the majority of my time with. she was two years older than me....but i thought she was gorgeous. she was a good dancer, had the coolest clothes, etc. so naturally i wanted to be just like her...but she would constantly put me down. as a young child, i guess i didn't realize that not being able to live up to her standards were shaping the way i would feel about myself (well, self-esteem) for the rest of my life.

it's not as bad for me as it was when i was a teenager....

oh god!! the insecurity was horrific! looking back at photos, i see a beautiful young lady.....but at the time, i sure didn't feel that way.

i hung out with all the skater/stoner kids, and everyone just thought i was weird because of the way i dressed. but for me....i could handle weird. it was better than ugly!

ANYWAYS! the point it, people have their own reasons for their twisted perceptions. i blame a large portion of this on television and "hollywood". thank goodness i have boys, and they don't much care for tv.

okay....i'm just rambling now!

Well, keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As well, what someone may lack in outward beauty, they may have high self esteem and confidence which you may not have. There are many things that make up a person, not just looks. It helps of course if you are attractive, but beauty fades over time the stuff on the inside doesnt' or doesn't have to.

hmm.

i dont like pretty girls...

boo

poor--

so the girls you DO like....does that mean you think they are ugly?

as i said, "pretty" is all in the perception.

now, if you mean girls who are self-absorbed in their image...i getcha!