tell me what you can't deal with Catalina. Maybe two heads are better than one.

life I heat it it hurts to bed having all these problems and being alone I want it to all go away for good

Please read until the end. I'm not making a case of whom is worse off, rather that we all find ourselves in depression, pain, fear, and such at some point and even permanently, though usually people can get out of depression after time.

These people, with so much they would depressed over actually find real happiness in things others just don't care about. They might be paralyzed, in pain, blind, deaf, have only half of their body working, no friends, and so on. (BTW, want a friend, if you want, friend me, I can't work, so I have no schedule and I don't copy and paste to inspire people. I type my emotions into every message I send to others. I can do a face cam if you want and you don't have to, obviously.)

You might not think you make a difference, but trust me when I (over 15 year ago) tried to end my life, I found that people I didn't even know, whom I'd never known, actually stepped in and were there for me. I tried several times, and you know what happened? A certain person (not dating or stuff) actually became suicidal. I've said this years ago, but depression can act like a disease. This person whom I actually thought hated me... well, he overdosed. When he narrowly escaped death, he was talking about his brother whom had given up, as well as, to my surprise, he mentioned "Chris, seeing you go through the things you do just played a big part in it." I mean I he wasn't saying it to blame me, rather just letting out everything. Now he's far better. My body, mainly spine is damaged now and I can' stand up for very long, about 5-10 minutes, before the spinal cord inflames and I become paralyzed. Usually from the waist down, but every now and then I have gone from the shoulders down since my neck is permanently damaged.

Please don't give up, I know it sounds like a silly old saying, but you can become stronger by experiencing things are terrible, even permanent body damage, pain, being poor, not being able to sleep, going to school just to be bullied, being handicapped even after you were once very capable, being dumped even though you were committed to them which happened every time with me, despite never saying a bad thing about her, buying things, spending money a LOT even to call her (I'm 29, we didn't have cheap phone plans, we paid by minute), and eventually losing my entire sex drive. Yet before losing it, I wanted to marry, but due to my transferable diseases, I just stopped being interested, and it left. Now I cannot urinate most of the time without a tube (catheter) among other daily things, YET I still see others who have it worse! They find little things so much more enjoyable than the average person does, because the average person hasn't experienced actual, real, true depression.

I have to say this, now I won't ever push anything on anyone, but I'll talk to you about anything without getting triggered, angry, hateful, and so on... I am not someone who judges others as a lot of Christians do. I know that's wrong! I am Christian, and I want to help, love, and, if asked, share God's Word. HOWEVER, I won't push that on you. If you ever complain, I will stop. I'll then pray, as I have been already. I know what it's like to be hated, forced out of groups, seen as weird, dumped, even asking for death. Yet, nowadays, I experience life in a broken body, but I'm actually happy!

Okay