Hugs

At the bottom of this page is a blue tab that says "Crisis Hotlines"
Please use one of those numbers to call and talk to someone. They should be able to point you in the direction of a place where you can inquire about free counseling (or close to free)

good luck~

Campy, I know this is hard. You have posted and asked for support. I agree that you should try to find some free counseling or other resources. But, please know, I don't want you to feel defeated or shattered. Things do get better eventaully. (((Hugs)))

Hi Campy:
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad. I don't know where you live but in some communities there are free clinic--or you can go to any emergency room. I am so lucky to have insurance to pay for counseling and medication. I recently saw a new doctor (Monday) and he made two minor adjustments in my medication and I am now feeling 50% better. I see him again soon and hope that after that I am 100% better. You just need to access some help in the community. Try calling the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill Chapter in your community---Tell them what you are going through and ask them how you can get some help. They are usually very good. You can also call 211 and ask for help. This is a 24 hour service via United Way. One other great resource is jo@samaritans.org You can send daily e-mails and will receive compassionate replies. Not really counseling but trained volunteers, many of whom, have either experienced depression or have counseling background. Keep writing and hang in there.

There is good advice by these posters about counseling services that are low cost to free, and I'd look into them...I have a DS friend whose predicament(no insurance)was the same, and calling a county social worker helped her to find a free clinic where she got a GP to prescribe her antidepressants,as well as a therapist...I think you sound as if your depresion could benefit greatrly from both antidepressant treatment and therapy,too---someone to talk to about your current broken hopeless feelings.I have certainly had those feelings before myself--as if no matter how or what I try,NOTHING gets better,only worse.It is an absolutely terrible feeling, but a lot of it is not the reality about you or your life, but the distorted voices and images of depression:EVERYTHING,in depression, becomes that way: a symbol of how worthless and defeated we feel we are; we can only see the dark parts of everything,the failures--never the triumphs,either actual or potential.It is easy to forget we have ever been happy or even "okay" feeling at all...and it feels as if no one knows who we really are or even cares.Depression that causes feelings these,though,IS treatable---you can feel better again once you get it.There are broken parts inside all of us,but that does not mean that we,our whole and central selves, are broken,at all--and certainly,not irreparable,either.Depression makes us feel beyond repair when,in fact, we are only broken,maybe,in certain places,which can be healed and viable and living again.DO get help--call for it,-the places posters here suggest--despite how broken down you feel--you are worth fighting for.And you CAN be repaired and restored enough to realize it,again---that you have a life still full of surprises,love, and even,yes,happiness to come in it--perhaps the greatest of all surprises there can be.You don't know what you will be missing--the kinds of happiness and aliveness you have the capacity to feel again,revival---if you succumb to your depression,so please don't.Most people who are depressed deeply underestimate their own strength(as they do everything good about themselves) and I believe you are strong enough to get yourself the help you deserve to have,and need.Please do reach out for that help--and for continued,consistent encouragment and support,among people yu care for,or people on this board,who have been or are going through things very similar to what you are suffering through now.This board is a great place to realize that we are not as alone with our pain as we feel--not as isolated in our feelings and despair as we believe.So please--as you've done here--keep reaching out---okay?Many more people than I suspect you know,at this point,care about you and will care,as they come to know you.Please do post again,,and let us know what is going on and if there is any way that we can help.Pm if you ever want to talk...You do not need to be broken, but rather, someone whose healing is in progress.And also,you are a whole and valuable person,not a sum of only the parts of you that feel broken.There is much more to you than that,so much good,such strength,potential--and much more for you in your life to come.Take good care of yourself,and hold on tight:,hard as it is,reach out for help and there ARE people who will reach back to help you find it.Big hugs and best of wishes to you!