A big part of my depression has always been the absence of my father. He didn't really abandon me, but of course, my whole life I have felt that way, and my emotionally/verbally abusive mother has always tried to put things in my head.
A few days ago (Augst 8th) I spent the day with him for the first time in 3 years. I found out a lot of things that nobody ever cared to tell me and had an amazing time. There's never been a time in my life where I've resented my father, and I still don't.
However, I've been struggling because he's sick. He tried to make it seem like it wasn't serious and that he isn't scared so I shouldn't be either, but I have an understanding of his diagnosis and it could be serious depending on the severity... He gave me all of his important items (photos, certificates, old baseball jersey, etc) and said it was because if anything were to happen, he wants somebody to have them.
He made sure that he told me if anything happens, he's proud of me and knows I'll be successful in life. Obviously, I knew that one day my father would pass, but I always prayed that I could get to a point where I could spend more time with him or see him whenever I wanted first. I don't think I'm ready to lose my father. Everything I do is for him and I could not imagine what I'd do without him.
Sorry that this was long, but the point is I'm really stressing and struggling and would appreciate all the prayer that you can offer.
It's been a long hard past couple months so guess I just needed a place to vent for a moment as I've always recieved positive feedback off here before. My son has severe mental health issues and he has been struggling with them since he was younger and he is only 12 as sad as that sounds, but he has been diagnosed with an array of things more prominently unspecified szicophenia and he takes...
I wish I was smarter.I wish I was stronger.I wish I was more disciplinedI wish I never tried drugsI wish I had different friendsI wish I had a different familyI'm a 24 year old dude and I have a hard time accepting that I have to leave my "friends" behind.Those "friends" that make me feel weird for staying home and working on my future instead of blowing my money on drugs.My mom,my dad,my...