Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
...only this time it's my own. A few months back I went through a trigger episode with my mother's birthday...how that came about is a blur now. But how it feels with my own only seems to be getting stronger every year.
It's not hard for me to describe how I feel about my own birthday...and most of it comes down to just not being able to come to grips what has already happened in my life. The short way of putting it is this: I spent more than enough years, after experiencing a smoke bombing in high school (please message me privately if you want to know more, I can't go into that here without crying) just saying "whatever the (expletive) you want" to everything that I've wasted more than a third of my life just being floaty and not so much as trying to figure out what I really wanted from my life.
I'll be 33 in a week and a half for reference, and I'm finally at least going back to school for what I REALLY want to do, but at this point in time every year, it just becomes a reminder of what could have been if I taken control of my life sooner than I have. I just can't seem to escape the feelings of missed opportunities and things I wish I had
done differently because the memories of them are just too strong.
This year, it feels especially bad because my birthday falls smack on US Thanksgiving Day. Lovely (note the sarcasm)...I'll be expected to celebrate twice on a day when I don't want to celebrate at all. I feel more like crying...which seems to be what I'm doing now, so I think I need to stop here.
I guess it's safe to say that at minimum I need hugs, very badly.
It's not hard for me to describe how I feel about my own birthday...and most of it comes down to just not being able to come to grips what has already happened in my life. The short way of putting it is this: I spent more than enough years, after experiencing a smoke bombing in high school (please message me privately if you want to know more, I can't go into that here without crying) just saying "whatever the (expletive) you want" to everything that I've wasted more than a third of my life just being floaty and not so much as trying to figure out what I really wanted from my life.
I'll be 33 in a week and a half for reference, and I'm finally at least going back to school for what I REALLY want to do, but at this point in time every year, it just becomes a reminder of what could have been if I taken control of my life sooner than I have. I just can't seem to escape the feelings of missed opportunities and things I wish I had
done differently because the memories of them are just too strong.
This year, it feels especially bad because my birthday falls smack on US Thanksgiving Day. Lovely (note the sarcasm)...I'll be expected to celebrate twice on a day when I don't want to celebrate at all. I feel more like crying...which seems to be what I'm doing now, so I think I need to stop here.
I guess it's safe to say that at minimum I need hugs, very badly.
Seriously though, my sister in law told me this during the summer time.
(I'm 52)
She said, Gidget, you have at least 40 more years on this earth, and if you have a passion for something, you are luckier then most.
Follow your dreams, Gidget, because you still have plenty of living to do.
Those exact same words are what I want to say to you.
Follow your dreams, because you have so much living to do. You, my friend, are only 33. You can still conquer the world.
((((((((((((HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY)))))))))