For me it's New Year's Eve/Day that depresses me. I would rather not have birthdays. Would be nice if they came every two or three years. lol. Haven't had a proper birthday celebration in years. The day comes and goes. I mentally prepare myself though a month or two in advance by saying in my head my new age.

Age 35 was my hardest for some reason. Loved my forties and fifty hasn't fazed me.....

It's not getting old that bothers me... i'm still young... birthdays have always made me feel very insignificant.....

Like I know so many people who make a big deal out of their birthdays and their friends birthdays and shit and I don't want to make a big deal of mine, that's not my style, but I always wonder why no one has ever made any deal out of my birthday... no one has ever thrown me a party or done anything special for my birthday. I mean the people who love me most obviously call and send or give cards or whatever - my parents, brothers, etc - but I've never had friends throw me a bash or anything. And it's not that I necessarily want or expect that, it's just I see other peoples friends doing that and I think about it and I wonder why people make such big deals of birthdays and I just feel totally insignificant because the reality is that in the grand scheme of life, the universse and everything, I AM insignificant and my birthdya is just always a fucking reminder

SBoom totally get you on that, never wanted to make anything of my brithday and do not get any presents, just another day for me but like you said, no-one would want to do it for me. I dont like major holidays like xmas or new year because it just simplies what i dont have, people who care, really get you on this, what you just wrote is what I feel too, hope you feel better about things.

Actually that's not really it either Shaz... but I can see how it read that way.

What is so stupid about it is that I AM loved and I DO have friends....

My friends think I'm awesome and I know that, and I don't need them to throw me a party to prove that.

I guess it's just really really hard to explain what I am trying to get at with how my bday makes me feel insignificant... let me try again...


What I see is people making big deals out of birthdays all the time.

This makes me feel like I should, or my friends should, make a big deal out of mine - regardless of the fact that this is not mine or our style.

But as soon as I think about making a big deal out of my birthdya I can't help but question why the hell I should - which leads me to the whole feeling insignificant thing.

There are thousands and thousands, probably hundreds of thousands maybe even millions, of people who have the exact same birthday as I do - yet we're all supposed to treat it like it's our special day? It's just another day, and I just happen to be a year older.

I still think I am making no sense but I have no idea how to explain it

No I get it Sboom. I think I am in the same boat.

Of my friend group, whenever it is someones birthday we always go out for dinner and have a nice evening. (there are six of us) That is we go out for five of our birthdays....No one ever makes any arrangements when it is MY birthday.

When it is someone's birthday I always mail a nice birthday card to that friend. Guess what...I never get one in return.

So yes this makes me feel insignificant. It's not that I am going to die cuz I just have to have my birthday acknowledged...it is just another day...but why am I consistently left out year after year after year?

Does this make sense?

I'm sorry you are left out Rae. :(
Happy Belated Birthday to you!

Maybe that is it, Rae.. I dunno I think maybe my friends don't feel the need to make me feel special because I carry myself with such confidence all the time... and my personality is not the type that seeks attention and to be made a big deal of... and I don't want my friends to make a big deal out of my birthday because that's just too much pressure to have an "awesome" time... but it sure would be nice if just once in my life someone would plan SOMETHING for me, ya know? I don't want a party or anything like that, but a nice small surprise like with just a few people would be really nice...... .no one has EVER surprised me for my birthday... but I've done it for so many of my friends in the past..

mind you, the friends I have now are very much the way I am - not the type to make a big deal out of anyhting - and they wouldn't want anything huge for their birthdays either.. and actually this is the first time my friends B and I have been in the same province for one of our birthdays so we've never had the chance to do anything special like that... and C and K are both relatively new friends - didn't know either of them on my last bday


Maybe this year will be different :)

We are going out tonight - but nothing crazy or out of hand... just an ordinary night out.

I'm just being a stupid poop.

I ALWAYS get so bloody emotional and sensitive around my bday...... dumbbbbbbbbbbb

Thank you Bridget. I appreciate that. I did however stop celebrating my birthday years ago. For example this year I was celebrating the 44th anniversary of my 29th birthday. That way I do not have tho think of it as a birthday. Maybe try that strategy Sboom.

Sboom here are my birthday wishes to you girlfriend. You are not insignificant. You are very important. If we were in the same town I would take you out for a nice girls night out.