Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have really seen lately how being the male role model ( what ever definition it is ) really is a thankless job. My father who is on his death bed is being pushed aside with little regard while my mother who is also in the same boat is feeling the love. Okay!! I will admit that the female role model ( whatever definition you want ) provides more of the physical caring and nurturing ( in your stereotypical sense ). A male provides care through stability. ( in the traditional sense ).
I DON'T WANT TO DEBATE OVER TYPICAL ROLES AS THESE DAYS THE RULES HAVE CHANGED!!
All I'm trying to say is that if a parent is not the slobbering affectionate type than they are viewed as less caring. This is sooo wrong. My father worked himself to the bone and asked for none of the glory that he should rightfully share. I am amazed at how my sibling can be so cruel to the man that devoted his life to his family.
I am living the same role as my father. My wife has slobbered my kids with so much affection that I would have to beat my way in with a stick. If I tried to compete my kids would have been suffocated with too much affection. Somebody had to take the less glorious role and that was me. I had to work away from home at times and that created an awkward boundary. It wasn't my choice to work away but I had to provide. I feel these sacrifices go unnoticed in a fathers life. I feel with all that I have done, very hurt to be on the outside, as I'm sure my father does too. I am trying to make a special effort to show him the love he deserves while others have treated him unjustly. I love my parents equally and I don't know why it is so hard for others to see the light.
I DON'T WANT TO DEBATE OVER TYPICAL ROLES AS THESE DAYS THE RULES HAVE CHANGED!!
All I'm trying to say is that if a parent is not the slobbering affectionate type than they are viewed as less caring. This is sooo wrong. My father worked himself to the bone and asked for none of the glory that he should rightfully share. I am amazed at how my sibling can be so cruel to the man that devoted his life to his family.
I am living the same role as my father. My wife has slobbered my kids with so much affection that I would have to beat my way in with a stick. If I tried to compete my kids would have been suffocated with too much affection. Somebody had to take the less glorious role and that was me. I had to work away from home at times and that created an awkward boundary. It wasn't my choice to work away but I had to provide. I feel these sacrifices go unnoticed in a fathers life. I feel with all that I have done, very hurt to be on the outside, as I'm sure my father does too. I am trying to make a special effort to show him the love he deserves while others have treated him unjustly. I love my parents equally and I don't know why it is so hard for others to see the light.
You realize your Father's value .... if others cannot, it's their loss.
I wish you and both your parents well. You are a good Son.
My siblings do have really close relationships with their kids. I have two sisters. My one sister is married, has a son and daughter. She, despite her education, she has a Master's in Public Health, graduated in the top 2 percent of her class, has "assumed" the role of stay-at-home Mom while her husband chases the bucks. He helps out a lot at home with the kids too. He works for the government, is in a branch of the military, so while they're both very affectionate toward their kids, they're also both in agreement that they have to be very strict with them and provide a very structured, regimented time schedule structure, especially with their son, who gets quite rambunctious..
My other sister is divorced and has a son, who gets shuffled between her and her ex in a divorce visitation settlement. She works away from home as a graphic artist, her husband works away from home as an aviation mechanic supervisor. Naturally their son gets a little emotionally frazzled at times, but he's a very hard-working in school, artistically creative boy.
SOMEONE, husband or wife, needs to stay home with the kids in my opinion. Both parents working away from home makes raising kids extremely difficult. Day-care or a nanny, even if funds provide for it, is a poor substitute for a parent being there.
This is why I play the lottery. If money were no object, I'd like to be a stay-at-home Dad, really be there for my kids. I don't want to be a father who's never around because he's off somewhere chasing the bucks. Unless there's a sudden financial windfall of million$, I don't see that happening, unless my future wife is really good at sales or is a high-ranking corporate executive, so SHE can chase the bucks while I stay at home and raise our kids.
Just let your father know how much you appreciate him and all he did. He knows that you can't control what your other family members say, think and do.
Our children had as much attention from their father that he could give, working overtime. Coaching little league, attending practices and games for ALL of them. Camping trips, amusement parks, you name it he did it. As a result, our kids have turned out to be great. They love him just as much as me, who mostly stayed home and my husband wanted it that way. All we can do is be an example, and you are doing that. What a blessing you are to your Dad, and children.
I still haven't found my miracle yet, but I will keep knocking on doors.
HE WAS A GOOD FATHER WHO DID OTHER THINGS LIKE TAKE ME FISHING ONCE AND OTHER THINGS............................
SO SAD THAT I CANT TELL MY DAD I LOVE HIM NOW................
HE DIED OF LUNG CANCER IN 1995.
I COULDNT EVEN GO 2 THE FUNERAL BECAUSE OF AN UNKNOWN ILLNESS.
I MUCH LATER FOUND OUT I HAD AN INOPERABLE BRAIN TUMOR.
I DONT THINK HE REALLY UNDERSTOOD WHY I COULDNT GO VISIT HIM RIGHT B4 HE PASSED AWAY.
HE AND MOM LIVED IN ANOTHER STATE.
MOM IS IN A NURSING HOME IN THAT STATE RIGHT NOW.
MY BROTHER WATCHES OVER HER.
SO SAD I CANT GO AND VISIT......................................
GBU
D
;-O
PS. NOW HE IS IN HEAVEN AND I HOPE HE KNOWS WHY I COULDNT GO 2 C HIM ALL THOSE YEARS AGO.
I ASK THE LORD 2 TELL HIM.......................................
PSS.........................I STILL REMEMBER HIS BLUE EYES AND BRIGHT SMILE THE LAST TIME THEY CAME 2 VISIT ME.