Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I feel so lonely right now. I still miss my ex even though it was a toxic relationship.
I'm not sure if suicide is allowed to be discussed here but here goes. This bout of depression has lasted about a year so far, I don't see any end to it. Last night I looked at a sharp knife that was beside me. I thought about running a hot bath and taking the knife in there with me. I grabbed the knife and moved it away from me to remove temptation. The urge to do it almost overtook me.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
suicide is allowed to be talked about here....happens to be a big topic here....gets lots of people suggesting talking to the 811 call center in USA.....I think you are man who has much to offer if you would open up here and share more of life which is what we do well here....talking about removing a knife from beside you is good but what were you cooking? where had you been most of your day friday? did anything cost you money that you enjoy today? if so you lived to find enjoyment that might not have happened with attempt to kill self with knife...
I am bill been there with suicide thoughts and other issues....recovering from depression usually takes some kind of medical interventions....do you have job and insurance?
things to think about other than that knife surely right?
I was in a long depressive episode (multiple years) and now I am out of it. I thought like you did. That it would never end and I would never get better. And here I am saying it does get better.
The only way it can't get better is if you end your life.
On Friday I went to a car meet in a country town about 2 hours drive from my home. On the way home I pulled over in a town for a break and a smoke, I don't smoke in my car. Some bloke ambled up to me and asked me for a cigarette. I gave him 2. To thank me he gave me a multi tool thing that also had a knife in the packaging. I said no but he insisted so I accepted it. When I got home I unwrapped it, it was quite good quality and the knife is very sharp.
I just can't help thinking maybe I should have stayed with my ex and moved in with her like she wanted me too.
Thankyou for your encouraging words.
My main fear now is that I will die ugly and alone. I have never really been lucky with relationships. In my adult life I haven't had many girlfriends, I guess I now view my ex as being my last hope for having someone who loved me. It was a turbulent and toxic relationship but she did love me in her own strange way.
I'm glad you fought through your depression and are feeling better.
Loneliness you feel after a break up takes over your soul. My ex cheated on me eight years ago and then again three years ago. It's over now but i miss him still even though I know he's a monster for the thing's he did to me.
If you really loved this person don't feel bad about yourself if you still miss him. A year is nothing look how fast a year goes by .
Thoughts of taking your life , please just let it end there because their is someone else out there that's going to make you so much happier.If you end your life you're cheating yourself.
My biggest regret was not having the patience to stick to counseling, You have to go through a couple before you find the right fit for you . Had I done that I would be in a lot better shape than I am in right now.
My work pays for counselling sessions and I was seeing a counsellor. She was nice enough but it felt to me like the sessions were going around in circles after a few months. Also, I'm not religious but she kept trying to convince me to join local church groups.
I hope you have a great new year.
I hope you have an awesome 2024.
You will find happiness. As for me finding it, I'm not so sure. I have tried dating sites, actually I met my ex on one, but I'm disillusioned with them. Usually I'm a bit of a loner. That is probably a result of never having a successful relationship.
Thankyou for your reply.
But remember how it was bad?? You would even up and leave... it was that bad. And then she'd send you a picture of her and some other guy..... I mean, this is not what a happy relationship should be like. And you deserve so much better!
You say you're not that attractive, but she liked you, right? And so then, other women will, too. And let me let you in on a secret about women..... we don't care that much about how a guy looks... it is way more about how he treats us, his personality, is he a good guy, etc. A guy's looks are like 3rd or 4th of what we are looking for. Okay shhhhh, don't tell anyone that I told you our secret, LOL.
I would suggest going back to counseling. Go to a different therapist than the last one. New therapist, new ideas.
It's a brand new year..... time for a change!! I heard this is the time of year the dating sites get a bunch of new members. So, take another look on the dating sites for the new people.
You're going to be okay! Try some new things. And stay in touch with friends, family, etc. Do you have any co-workers you can socialize with? Keep getting out there and spending time with the people in your life. Getting out can really lift our spirits!
Please keep letting us know how you are doing!!!
Thankyou for your kind words. I know I shouldn't be down about her, it was toxic from the start. I accept some of the blame whereas she says it was all my fault.
There are 2 counsellors through work. I have thought about seeing the other one but I'm kind of worried my usual one will be offended if she finds out. I know that's silly.
I hope you're doing well.