sounds like you need a new counselor. They are supposed to help you work through your problems and help you come up with ways to improve, not tell you to work on your own.

We can support you here but please look into a new therapist. Not all of them are great, some are real idiots. Trust me, I've had 4 and none saw the bipolar, especially the ones in high school.

I replied to your journal sweety. Much love and lots of gentle hugs for you! GB

You are not ugly. You are beautiful. Lay down and try to get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day. Things will eventually get better. Keep leaning on us from here, but go to the hospital if you need to go.

I read your journal entry, so sorry so many negative thoughts are running through your mind. I have been there don't let them get the best of you. I have no friends either I lost them all when I fell ill and through divorce as well. But I get by I accept that things turned out the way they did. I'm just telling you this so you know you are not alone. Many of us to some degree share the same problems. Try to hang in there and get some rest. Then focus your energies on finding a knew therapist some one you can really talk to. I'm so sorry the last one did not work out. But if you decide you truly need a break from all of this and you see no way out then ask your husband to take you to the hospital you can make a fresh start from there and they can help guide you in the right direction. You are in my prayers, johnnyboy

You need a new counselor and a change of meds definetly. i have daily very bad thoughts of suicide but i know that they r going to come and i realize that a thought can't hurt me only i can hurt me, so i quickly visualize the color BRIGHT YELLOW it reminds of the lord. i repeat it over and over in my head yellow and i pray take these bad thoughts away lord and it pass on. This will pass i promise u just need the right meds and a new counselor. death is permanent things can change.

Your counsellor has it backwards. You don't need to make happiness.

Happiness is the absence of misery. All you have to do is deal with the things that make you miserable. Deal with them in a way that resolves them. And a counsellor's role is to help you identify them, and help you resolve them, because when you're depressed it's really hard to figure out how.

Therefore your obligation to the process is to tell your counsellor the truth, and to try new ideas out to see if they will work. :D

Underneath the dirt is the sparkling jewel. Don't give up. You will find a way if you don't give up.

You still needs counselling and proper medication, get a new counselor..
Try group exercise and mediation , you will feel better... Try to find your happiness in small things get involve in Christmas stuff..