Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Bad Night

Jormungandr
Jormungandr
Last night was bad. I kept waking up last night, maybe in every 2 hours. When I was awake, I kept thinking how screwed up my life was in every aspect. Lack of job, money, friends, purpose, etc. Then, a wave of despair would hit me. I'd start thinking that if I had a chance to do it over again, I'd have ended when I was 15. Right when my depression began. Other people would say they'd make different choices, but for me they all lead to where I am now. Everything would still turn to ash regardless of the road taken.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I relate. I was in this space once. I don't think you will stay here in this blackness. It will get better. You are one of us, you see!!!!
ElenaNJ
ElenaNJ
I often look back at my life, retrace the years and wonder what and where it went wrong. 15 is young, I'm sorry, it's a time that you should have been care free. Well, please kno I read your post, Im not going to say its going to get better blah blah, but I understand how you feel. It's not fair that others hv good jobs. Families that are loving. When some of us hv to just struggle. I hope some good luck comes you way.
etherize
etherize
Somehow depression and those horrible regrets are even worse in the middle of the night. I guess because there are no distractions. But then lack of sleep makes depression worse. :(

I'm sorry things are really bad right now. For me, the only thing that gets me through the bad times is the sense that there's some purpose or reason for what we go through ... and we'll discover it one day.

Anyway, I hope life turns around for you soon, that you're able to find a good job and things start looking up. {{{hugs}}}
gramybear
gramybear
When you have bad nights like that, come on DS and see if anyone else is up that can't sleep and needs someone to talk to. I have had insomnia for 5 days now but finally got 3 hours of sleep last night and 1 hours while here on DS. I just nodded off.... Oops.
We are never really alone. Hugs.
sunnycat
sunnycat
I can relate- my depression started around the same age. Bad days come and go- I'm still going day to day...it will get better.
Take care
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was very depressed through my teens too, so I can relate! But things did get better, and then worse, and better. I made some bad decisions and some right ones.

Right now, I look back and I am glad I kept going. Don't give up the fight. Depression can be conquered, or at least kept at a minimum. I think when we take the wrong roads, we can learn from our mistakes. I like to think that each step is a journey, and learning and growing into a better person is the goal.

A wise person once told me we all love the mountain tops. But things grow better down in the valleys. So if you are in a valley, look around to see what is growing.