Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I am so frustrated lately with the few friends that I have. I over the years have cut people out of my life (so called friends) because over time they start to abuse my kindness and would only take, take, take..once I learned to stand up for myself and back off and not do so much for these people I heard less and less from them. So I just feel like i'm in a complete funk now and just having the hardest time meeting new people who actually want to get together and hang even just one time a month..I mean is that asking too much? The one last best friend that i've had for years now barely messages me and when she does it's on her terms..rarely messages me back when I text her. Never asks if we want to do anything unless I ask. I feel like this is just following the path of my past friendships where they just use me when they want something or I'm there last resort when others are busy..Im a dang good friend too and always remember my friends b-days, do fun things for them, buy them a little gift if I see something that reminds me of them, bakes for them, watches their kids..and honestly I have never had a friend do anything remotely nice for me. I feel like I'm always the friend who is there for others but no one ever bothers to check in on me and ask how I am doing. It is so completely frustrating..I mean I guess I shouldn't dwell on it since I am happily married with 3 awesome kids, but it just really hurts. Anyone else having problems with friends who just dont give a darn.
And yet everyone doesn't operate that way. I, for one, don't. And so I'd lose the friends who would shower me with stuff and then find themselves disappointed that I hadn't done it back.
The reason I didn't do it back? Well, I had depression, a dreadful marriage, no money whatsoever, no clothes to wear to go out, nobody to look after my children. So the only fun I could have is cups of tea at other mums' houses. During the day. I wasn't thinking about the cute cake I could bake them - I was constantly exhausted. I was mostly thinking about how I could feed the kids.
I would meet someone who was high energy, and they would overwhelm me. It would be nice to be their friend, but I would just be exhausted because I couldn't keep up. And I could watch their excitement turn to resentment as they tried to get me 'moving' in their fashion, and I didn't. Well of course I didn't. They had no idea who I was, I wasn't going to change who and what I was for a stranger.
If you are making friends with people like me, understand it's not personal. Our circumstances, which we absolutely hide from you, are draining most of our energy just being alive. So we don't have much to spare. You have to go slow. Just.. come over for a cuppa every now and again. See how that goes. And give it a year or two.
If you're not, if you're friends with other high energy women who just aren't spending any energy on you, maybe you need to pull back on your giving, when you meet friends. Just be pleasant, but be autonomous. Don't give too much at the start. it's exhausting for the low energy person and highly manipulable for the high energy one.
Just be yourself, don't go out of your way so much. Then you will have less to be resentful about, and they will get less of a 'suck her dry' message.
And now you have DS friends! *hugs*