Please don’t do that. Your Mom loves you. She will never get over your death. You will cause her horrible pain.

You are not a mistake or a burden. You are going through a bad time and need help. Please reach out to someone. There are numbers you can call. There is suicide prevention. Or call a friend. Your life will change. You won’t always feel this way. People love you and want you in their life.

Thank you both. And I mean that. Last night I was in a bad spot do I wrote a note to express my feelings and emotions and what I'm thinking on doing . I gave the letter to my councilor this morning because I have one and every Tuesday I see him. I'm not the one who express my feelings and emotions so I figured maybe that might give him an idea on how I'm thinking. I still want to cut but I'm going to try not to maybe draw on my arm yes I know that sounds childish but maybe if I see the red marker it can help me I don't know something he said might help but he had a better explanation then what I am writing. Sorry. I'm going to txt the suicid line if I need it and I also have my cousin who I can lean on. I'm thinking on letting my mom in on next week conversation but he said its up to and if I'm ready. She sits in the truck while I talk to my councilor every Tuesday but I'm afraid to let her know what's really going on and what I am thinking. It's hard this all of this is so hard to do and asking for help.

I'm afraid that my Mom may think this is her fault that I want to kill or cut myself. How she did something wrong with me. She did nothing. She's there for everything that I'm going. She sits in the truck every Tuesday when I'm talking to my councilor. My councilor asked if I'm ready for her to come in and sit and talk on what's going on. I'm afraid to tell her I want to die and I have it plan out. She knows I cut but she doesn't understand why. I'm her only child and to me I seem like a screw up and she has to deal with me since I'm her daughter.

My fear is 1- forgetting my Dad. That's why I'm here. I text the suicid line and that's how I got this web site.
2-letting my Mom know my secret that is suicid is what I want. And embarrassing her for my problems. I don't want to let her down but I am.

With my Dad I lost him last May. He past away unexpectedly and my world involved around him. He was my best friend. Fall is our favorite time of year and we use to go hunting. I'm having a hard with this fall and just my Dad not being around.

And yes I've been writing a few things down to discuss with my Mom as she sits in but how to know what to say.

I'm going to talk to my councilor first and also maybe he could also help me tell her for its not so forward and bam you know?

Thank you for listening to everyone and talking I'm doing a little bit better but not so suicidal I mean that thank you

I'm working on it. And taking it day by day. Thank you