I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I am drowning, feel like I am just going through the day so it can end. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel and I am not sure I ever will. I passed my boards which was a big trigger of depression and suicidal thoughts for me but didn't get to enjoy it and those thoughts have never gone away. I thought I would be happy and happy to start my job but I am not and don't like where I am. I am not confident, don't think I ever will be, feel like I am drowning at work and feel like nothing and none is helping. It seems like work is more of a burden and trigger of how screwed up and stupid I am then something that I enjoy even if I am getting paid. I also feel alone, I lost alot of friends including a BFF of 13 years and feel so lonely its unbearable. And the friends I do have aren't treating me like they care lately. I honestly feel like none would care if I wasn't here. I just go to work and come home and sleep. If I didn't have work I would not get up in the morning or out of bed at all. I just don't know what to do. I feel lost and don't have much more to give.
I’ve had the morbid thought that maybe the reason my husband quit loving me is because there’s a deeper meaning. Perhaps he’s going to die way too young & if I can learn to live without his love I will then be able to cope if I lose him for real. I’m sure this is a horrible thought & I in no way want it to happen but I just have to wonder & am always trying to figure out why our marriage...
i've been maried almost 30 years. Ww went to Orlando for a week on our honeymoon- no sex. This followed no sex on our wedding night. During the first two years of marriage, we went 10 months with no sex. this pattern had replicated over the years. Curremtly over 7 months since we have had sex. lots of good things in the marriage, but lack of sex has been very hard for me.