Sorry Alph... no answers here.... but its mighty nice to see you..

I have totally shut myself down as well. I have been told by my family that I am emotionless. I don't know how to break free of this. I think this is a guard to protect myself. I hope that you find some answers to help yourself.

I used to work with a guy who was very over stressed. A few months later he seemed happier, so I asked him about it. He said he had been in therapy, and they had identified his problems as being situational. So he went on a path to remove all the negative people from his life!

He called it getting rid of the turkeys, but I suspect that he had a different mantra for use in his private thoughts. He moved from the West cost to the East cost as part of that process!

Try forcing yourself to do some volunteer work.

That was recommended to me in therapy and it worked.

i'd closed myself down some years ago. to the point that i didnt cry a single tear after the best and longest r'ship of my life ended or even when tragedy struck in the family. i just kept a straight face and kept going on. somebody got me to open up again. and i see the difference now. i am vulnerable because i feel things..i get attached..i get hurt..but stil i feel more alive and confident. i wouldn't choose a closed life for anyone.

I know what you mean. I tend to close down too, because nobody's saying anything I find particularly interesting or passion-arousing.

Working out helps me. I'd rather feel the real physical pain that comes from pushing weight than feel nothing at all. At the end of a grueling workout, I actually care about something again...myself. But it'd be nice to care about something in the world too. Tough when the world looks like shit.

That's why I'm here I suppose. Being here amongst you other souls makes me feel a part of something, like we all matter. It feels good to lend a kind ear, ask for advice, give advice, and know that my opinions matter.

I feel your pain- and can only say right now- that I'm right there with you. I wish I had answers, because I, myself am looking for them too. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow, so I'm hoping that a change in medication will help me deal with my emotions more effectively. I also see a therapist to work out my past issues...it's definitely a long process, but helpful.